How to Order a Sandwich at a Jewish Deli

Like my grandmother used to say, it's a shame some people don’t know from good deli. Luckily, you have me to advise you on how to order a proper sandwich, and that's not chopped liver...

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A hearty appetite

1. 

   If the deli’s any good, you’ll be waiting in line either to get seated or to order at the counter. Often, there's a number machine. Take a number. When it's called, you’d better be ready to order-or you'll face the rolled eyes and heavy sighs of those in line behind you, like me.

2. 

   Decide what kind of meat you would like on your sandwich. Here are some definitions to know--
   CORNED BEEF: salt-pickled cooked sliced brisket, same thing you find in good ol' Corned Beef and Cabbage dishes.
   PASTRAMI: pepper-seasoned, smoked corned beef
   CHOPPED LIVER: akin to pate, it's calves' or chicken livers and onions sauteed in schmaltz (chicken fat), and ground into a spread with hardboiled eggs, salt and pepper
   SALAMI: sliced cured sausage, either hard or soft
   TONGUE: yep, sliced beef tongue
   LOX: thinly sliced smoked salmon
   
   Of course, you can also choose to go with the more pedestrian fillings like roast beef, turkey, tuna, chicken or egg salad... but trust me, once you taste the chopped liver, there'll be no going back.

3. 

   Now, say you'd like some combination of the above. Some delis offer their own combo sandwiches (like chopped liver and corned beef) named after celebrities, but they’ll usually be glad to throw together any combination you'd like.
   
   The most common combo is the Reuben, which is corned beef, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut and Russian (thousand-island) dressing on rye, then grilled and served hot. (Insert Homer Simpson drool sound here.)

4. Okay, now pick a bread, but not just any bread. The most authentic way to eat a deli sandwich is on toasted rye, but your other choices may include pumpernickel, challah (egg bread), Kaiser or onion roll. Wheat or white? Oy. Croissant or pita? Double oy.

5. 

   Cheese is okay to add, but it should be Swiss or if you must, cheddar. And no sissy lettuce and tomato either. There won’t be room.

6. Pick a side. If you’re lucky, it comes with. Usually potato salad or cole slaw and a pickle.

7. Wait patiently while your masterpiece is assembled and pay at the register. Mazel tov, you did it! Now enjoy, darling…

Tips & Warnings

• Whatever you do, do not ask for mayonnaise or God forbid, ketchup. Mustard, preferably a thick deli brown, is the only acceptable condiment.

[martygit]

on 12/29/2007 This is sensational. I live in Cleveland and we have some excellent Jewish delis in our neighborhood (including Jacks and Corky & Lenny's, both of which I mentioned in my "Taste of Cleveland" How-To. I almost always order Hot Rumanian Pastrami, which is a little fattier and tastier. Yum! Great job on this one!