How to Date Someone Who Believes in Astrology

Although “What’s your sign?” isn’t quite as popular a pickup line as it used to be, it’s surprising how many on the dating scene still believe in astrology—not only believe in it, but lead with it as a way of choosing potential soul mates. If you’re an astrology agnostic who happens to have struck up a conversation with an enthusiastic Leo, don’t despair—just peruse the following tips on how to behave.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Test the depth of the person’s commitment. A casual remark like “Oh, astrology—you believe in that stuff, huh?” will elicit one of two reactions. The good one is “Not really, but it’s kind of fun to read my horoscope in the newspaper every day and talk about it with friends.” The not-so-good one is “Of course I do! Everyone knows that the stars have a huge influence on world politics and relationships!”

2. Laugh it off. If you’ve elicited the first reaction—i.e., "Of course I don’t take astrology seriously, I just do it for fun"—there’s no reason not to forge ahead, even if you’re a PhD physicist who has forgotten more about real astronomy than most folks will ever know. That’s not to say you won’t encounter another deal-breaker—say, the object of your attention already has a live-in boyfriend—but that’s the chance we all take.

3. See how far down the rabbit hole goes. If the gal or guy you’ve hit on gets bristly about the astrology thing, all is not necessarily lost. Some astrology folks are able to compartmentalize their strange beliefs and lead the rest of their lives normally. Others are also convinced that aliens built the Egyptian pyramids and the Ark of the Covenant was really a radio transmitter. A few minutes of conversation should tell you what camp this person is in.

4. Be logical. Of course, you’re never going to convince a true adherent of astrology that their beliefs make absolutely no sense. But if you’re in the mood for mischief, you might want to pursue a Socratic dialogue about how astrology developed before people knew what stars were, and now that scientists know exactly what stars are, astrology makes about as much sense as divining the future by reading the entrails of dead animals. Good luck!

5. Continue at your own peril. Guys seem to have an inexhaustible capacity for overlooking deep, gaping flaws in a woman’s personality, especially if she’s really cute. So as tempted as you might be to feign a belief in star signs in order to get some you-know-what, picture yourself five years from now, casting the horoscope of your newborn child to determine what preschool to send her to.

[ibloomdrop]

on 10/18/2008 This is absolutely hilarious! I'm not saying my take on astrology, but either way, you gave me a few heartfelt laughs. Good work!