-
Step 1
Watch for men with macho attitudes who see sex as a personal conquest and make disparaging, crude remarks about women and sex. A date rapist wants to appear strong and in charge; he is someone who gets what he wants, no matter what. He’s trying to stroke his ego and impress other guys with his exploits. Athletes and frat boys who live in a climate of competition and macho one-upmanship account for 3% of all college men, yet they are named in 19% of all reported date rapes on campuses.
-
Step 2
Date rapists tend to be hostile towards women. They often make disparaging or crude remarks about women and sexual exploits. They tend to laugh too loud, brag too much and talk inappropriately. They also tend to be possessive, jealous and controlling, seeing women as things to own rather than as people to love.
-
Step 3
Another red flag is a man who invades your personal space. He is trying to test the waters with you and see how strong your personal boundaries are.
-
Step 4
A date rapist is often a very popular, handsome guy who chooses a shy, insecure and not especially attractive girl. Predatory men pick these women because they’re usually easier to push around psychologically. They are also less likely to assert themselves, to turn down attention from such a ‘hot guy’ or to complain about being treated poorly. They are also less likely to report a rape.
-
Step 5
Date rapists use all kinds of psychological weaponry. They may joke, plead, scare, embarrass or guilt women into doing more than they feel comfortable. They almost never use physical weapons; they prefer to believe they're powerful enough to control women without them. Date rape is a psychological game for the date rapist, which centers more on control and power than sex.
-
Step 6
Quick to buy drinks for a woman, date rapists use the alcohol they pay for as a weapon to loosen their date’s inhibitions. They can be charming and free with their money just long enough to get a woman drunk and cause her to lose judgment.
-
Step 7
Date rapists also use certain drugs which cause a lack of inhibition, semi-consciousness and an amnesiac effect for several hours. If combined with alcohol, these drugs can’t be detected after 24 to 72 hours in the bloodstream and after three days in the urine. These drugs are now freely available on the street.
-
Step 8
Not all date rapists follow the usual pattern. Some are unattractive, unassertive men who are often overlooked or mocked. They will use date rape drugs to get what they feel they can’t otherwise get, again focusing on power and control more than on sex. Stay alert to anger directed at women from any kind of man.
-
Step 9
A little knowledge can go a long way. Pay attention to any red flags you see in the men around you and trust your instincts to help keep yourself safe!
