How to Split the Check

A generation ago, ending a dinner date was a no-brainer—the man paid, every time, no matter whether it was the first date or the 217th. Today, however, things are a bit more complicated. Some women are hesitant to let a man pay for a first date, thinking this somehow “obliges” them or indicates their interest, and it’s just as likely for a gal to earn some hefty multiple of her date’s salary as vice-versa. What’s a hungry dater to do? Read on for some handy tips.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. If you can, go with the old-school method. On a first date, especially, it’s still expected (fairly or unfairly) that the man will foot the bill—first impressions count, after all, and you don’t want to be considered “cheap.” For this reason, you shouldn’t splurge on an overly fancy restaurant.
2. Don’t feel obliged to pay for a rotten date. Many guys, out of a sense of chivalry, will insist on paying for a first date even if it’s eminently clear that the two of you will never see each other again. This is admirable, but unnecessary. Odds are your date will be so anxious to leave your company that she’ll be only too glad to split the check.
3. Try the “wallet test.” Now that you’ve made it through your first two or three dates, it’s time to see how willing your proto-girlfriend is to chip in occasionally for meals. When the waiter delivers the check, reach slowly back for your wallet, and see if your gal does the same—or, better yet, says something like “you’ve paid for everything so far, let this be my treat.”
4. Drop a hint. Okay, so she failed the wallet test—that’s not necessarily a bad sign. The next time you go out to eat, say something like “gosh, my credit-card balance has really been climbing lately—do you think we can split the check this time?” Odds are, she likes you enough at this point that she’ll spring at the chance to reciprocate your generosity. If not…
5. Talk things out. By the third or fourth month of a relationship, it’s pretty clear who the breadwinner is. If it’s her, a sticky conversation looms in which you’ll have to discuss the disparity in your disposable incomes. If she still refuses to pay for meals, that’s not necessarily The End.