How to Wait for a Blind Date

Few experiences in life are as unnerving as waiting at a restaurant table (or on a street corner, or in an OTB parlor) for the arrival of your blind date. As the appointed time approaches, paranoia sets in: why is that guy looking at me so funny? Does the maitre d’ know why I’m here? Is my date secretly here already, scoping me out from a distance? The mind races. Here are some techniques to help keep your cool and (hopefully) not stand out as the desperate single person you likely are.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Choose a good spot. All things being equal, it’s less stressful to meet your date at a sleepy lounge than at the most happening juke joint in town. If you’ve agreed on the latter, try waiting outside in your car, or (if you’ve traveled there by foot) hang loose on a nearby corner and pretend to be scoping pedestrians. Don’t wait inside, where you’ll just wind up standing around aimlessly and jostling passing waiters.

2. Know what you’re looking for. There are blind dates, and then there are blind dates. If you’ve been corresponding with a gal online, you should at least have some idea what she looks like (provided the photo she posted was taken within the last 10 years). A truly blind date, though, requires a certain level of detail beforehand, lest your potential soul mate walk right past you and chat up a complete stranger. At the very least, tell each other what you’ll be wearing on the appointed day.

3. Stay frosty. Whether you choose to wait in your car or on the corner (see Step 1), fidgeting, gesticulating, and staring at passersby will only earn you a visit from the police (or an elderly busybody concerned that you’re having a seizure). Remember, you want your date—whatever the heck she looks like—to have a good first impression, and acting like Travis Bickle in “Taxi Driver” simply won’t do.

4. Don’t be afraid to ask. If the time for your rendezvous has long since passed, it’s possible your potential beau has slipped past you into the restaurant (maybe while you were busy reassuring that policeman). You’ll have no choice but to scour the joint for someone who fits the approximate description and looks as unhinged as you do. The worst that can happen is that you approach a guy and say, “John?” and he’ll respond, “No, sorry.” (Unless his name coincidentally happens to be John, in which case you’ve wandered into a romantic comedy).

5. Don’t bail. Remember, not even a Navy SEAL can wait for a blind date without breaking a sweat. It’s perfectly okay to be nervous and anxious, but it’s definitely not kosher to simply go home before the appointed time (or, to be more precise, before a full hal- hour past the appointed time). Remember, there’s another person involved, and his anger at being stood up will make your mild queasiness seem laughable by comparison.