How to Stay Sane During March Madness

We all know how crazy the ‘March Madness’ of the NCAA Tournament can be. The frenzied anticipation of where your favorite team will be seeded. Staying up until the wee hours during the first rounds. Waking at 6am to watch highlights. The last-second thrills and chills that make your pulse race. With the following tips you can be an island of serenity in a sea of insanity:

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Create a feedbag for yourself, filled with nachos, pretzels and the like, to avoid mad rushes to the fridge during timeouts and commercial breaks.

2. Skip the opening ‘lead-in’ game entirely and instead meditate silently in the corner.

3. Avoid Dick Vitale’s hysterical ranting at all costs. One can only hear the phrases ‘diaper dandy’ and ‘time out coach!’ so many times before snapping.

4. Two little words: Electroshock Therapy.

5. While watching the games, avoid alcohol, which has a disruptive—not soothing—effect on the mind and body.

6. A spot of Earl Grey tea will both relax and invigorate a frazzled soul.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep in mind that ‘March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb’, even though I think that’s actually in reference to the weather.

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