-
Step 1
Create a feedbag for yourself, filled with nachos, pretzels and the like, to avoid mad rushes to the fridge during timeouts and commercial breaks.
-
Step 2
Skip the opening ‘lead-in’ game entirely and instead meditate silently in the corner.
-
Step 3
Avoid Dick Vitale’s hysterical ranting at all costs. One can only hear the phrases ‘diaper dandy’ and ‘time out coach!’ so many times before snapping.
-
Step 4
Two little words: Electroshock Therapy.
-
Step 5
While watching the games, avoid alcohol, which has a disruptive—not soothing—effect on the mind and body.
-
Step 6
A spot of Earl Grey tea will both relax and invigorate a frazzled soul.














