How to Prevent Your Partner from Viewing Internet Porn

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By Bob Strauss
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Prevent Your Partner from Viewing Internet Porn

Scientists—real ones, with glasses and lab coats—have demonstrated that the average male with a broadband connection can download a whopping 70 gigabytes of porn in one hour (some tried to download more, but wound up burning out their modems). Keeping this in mind, what can you do to keep your guy from going down this road?

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Step 1

Tell him to buy his own computer. It’s bad enough that he is constantly on the prowl for photo spreads of 18-year-olds from Kansas, but he shouldn't do it on your shared computer at home (or, worst of all, on the laptop you tote to and from the office). If he won’t tone down his porn use, insist that he buy a used computer. This way, any nasty viruses that he inadvertently downloads will be all his.
Step 2

Set a time limit. No more five-hour porn sessions. Tell your guy that he's got 30 minutes per day. He’ll try to get around this restriction, but if you stay firm—as you would with a seven-year-old who's eager to put off his bedtime—you’ll eventually bring him around to your point of view.
Step 3

Insist on looking at porn alongside him. Nothing kills the prurient urge in a guy like a wife or girlfriend observing (and commenting on) the pictures he’s downloaded. Observations like “I wonder what that girl’s parents must think” or “do you know how uncomfortable that position is?” will make it clear exactly where you stand on your mate’s hobby.
Step 4

Download your own porn. The average guy will be tickled pink (and all sorts of other colors) if you enjoy the kinds of pictures he enjoys. But if you download photos of naked hunks, it’s amazing how quickly your man will abandon Internet porn for something more quaint, like Solitaire. (Plus, the average straight male’s homophobia makes him blanch at the idea of naked guys on his computer.)
Step 5

Disconnect your broadband connection. This is a severe step, to be sure, but even the horniest guy will give up attempting to download large porn files if he just has a dial-up connection. When he begs for the high-speed connection to be hooked up again, you can give in on the condition that he seek his porn elsewhere (on TV or at the office.)

Comments

orange9876 said

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on 5/6/2009 A guy wrote this! What the hell Bob? Guys will never stop looking at internet porn if some of these methods are enforced we will just find ways around it. The woman could also try putting out.

blabla2008 said

on 8/25/2008 My boyfriend downloads porn pictures and then hides them from me... He once said that he uses the pictures to make him horny so that he can hit it off with me...I dont know what to do or how to react...