How to Make Restaurant Reservations for Valentine's Day

It's often said that Valentine's Day is the evil creation of greeting-card companies that needed something to fill the five-month gap between Christmas and Father's Day. It's just as likely that this holiday was dreamed up in a secret meeting by struggling restaurateurs. To put it another way, not treating your sweetie to an intimate dinner on Valentine's Day is tantamount to telling her "Babe, we're not gonna make it 'til spring." Here's how to go about this onerous task.

Instructions

1. Don't seek her opinion. If you ask your wife/girlfriend/significant other in advance where she'd like to eat on Valentine's Day, she'll probably say something like "Oh, don't go to too much trouble-I'd be just as happy eating at home." Unless you know this to be an absolute fact (she hates restaurants, she's shy, she's a really good cook), don't take the bait. She expects a meal, and you're expected to provide it.

2. Choose her favorite cuisine, not yours. If she really, really likes Thai food, and you'd rather use kimchi as a drain cleaner than actually eat it, screw up your courage and book a reservation at a Thai restaurant. The point of the V-day meal is to show your W/G/SO how much you value her company and the sacrifices you're willing to make on her behalf.

3. Decide on a time. If your W/G/SO has a high-powered job, odds are she won't be able to leave the office in time for an easy-to-book 6 or 7 p.m. reservation. If she has to get up early the next morning, an 11 p.m. slot isn't ideal either. However, if circumstances dictate that either of these odd times are doable, go for it because it'll be hard to procure a coveted 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. slot on this busy night.

4. Get on the phone. Most fancy restaurants are booked well in advance for Valentine's Day, so get on the horn ASAP. You don't want the maitre d' at Le Snoot laughing in your face before he hangs up on you. If you do succeed in making a reservation, now is the time to tell the staff if your sweetie will need any special treatment, such as waiters bearing snow-white doves in a silver chalice.

5. Remember your wallet. What with all the other details weighing on their minds, you'd be surprised how many guys leave the plastic at home on this night of nights, forcing their W/G/SO pick up the bill. Needless to say, this is not the ideal way to end one's Valentine's Day, so be sure you have everything you need before you and your main squeeze leave home.