How to Get Her to Agree to a Second Date

It’s a widespread myth that nothing is more painful than a first date. In fact, going out on a first date is easy: All you have to do is make small talk, not spill your drink, and nod and smile a lot. What’s truly arduous is getting the gal you’re interested in to commit to a second date, preferably before the waiter has returned with your credit-card receipt. Here’s how to go about it.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Don’t hesitate. The typical guy thinks, “Wow, that was nice! I’ll shake hands goodnight and ask her out again in a couple of days.” This is a huge mistake. A lot can happen in a couple of days: She may meet another guy, she may move to another city or she may remember what you look like. The true professional nails down his second date before the first date is over.
2. Be dopey and bashful. Girls like shy, sweet, fumbling guys (thus accounting for Hugh Grant’s movie career). Play it like you would back in the seventh grade: “Would you, uh, I really liked, uh, maybe we can ... you know.” If she doesn’t think you’re asking her to split the bill, this technique is sure to melt her heart.
3. Be aggressive. Okay, dopey and bashful didn’t work; it’s time to get serious. Tell your date, straight out, that you really enjoyed her company, you’d like to see her a second time, and gosh, your schedule is so busy that you want to clear space for her right away. This approach works for Donald Trump; why not for you?
4. Incentivize. So maybe aggressiveness isn’t your strong point. Here’s where you play Monty Hall from “Let’s Make a Deal”: Tell your date, gee, there’s a new five-star French restaurant in town and you’ve been dying to try it out, and the restaurant is right next to a fancy department store and you just got your year-end bonus at work and … well, you get the idea.
5. Whine and plead. Why didn’t you mention that you can’t afford fancy French restaurants? It’s time to revert back even further, past the seventh grade, to when you were a little kid. Pout and simper. Threaten to hold your breath until you turn blue. Keep asking her “Will you go out with me?” over and over, and when she says no, shout, “Why?”
6. Make it legal. If, by some miracle, your date does in fact agree to go out with you a second time, call over a witness and have her sign a napkin to that effect. You’ll feel better having iron-clad evidence, especially after you've left the seventh or eighth unreturned message on her answering machine.