How to Score Poon Like Nikki Sixx

We all want to pull serious rock star tail, right? Here are a few ways to get yourself closer to your dream.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Some form of musical talent
• Eye make-up
• Studded Leather Pants
• Booze

1. Learn how to play a musical instrument. Chicks dig guys in bands, even if you're an average Joe. As soon as you get up on stage with that guitar, you're an instant tickle.
2. You need an image. Some go for the "I hate my dad" look, others go for the "I love Satan" look. Personally, I prefer the "I hate my dad and love Satan" look. This one is up to you.
3. Play aloof. After the show when the chicks are swarming the green room, just act like you don't care about anything that's going on. Act like you've been there before, chicks will love the oblivious look on your face.
4. Leave your inhibitions to the wind. This is easier when drunk. When you've had a few too many, an average 5 can take on the qualities of a perfect 22. Trust your beer goggles, they wouldn't let you down.
5. Let the booze do the talking. It's true when they say, "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." If you walked up to a girl sober and told her she has nice cans, she would slap you in the face. If you're drunk and you tell a drunk chick she has nice cans, you're in business...definitely.
6. Combine steps 1 through 5 a few nights a week for the next 20 years or so and you will pull tail just like my boy Nikki Sixx.

Tips & Warnings

• Confidence is your best weapon. Chicks hate an insecure baby.
• Become friends with the a lot of bartenders, you're going to be spending lots of time and money in the bars.
• Do not get emotionally attached. You don't need real feelings crowding your judgement.
• Do not give out your real phone number. There is nothing worse than hanging out with a chick and having another random broad calling you to go to starbucks.