How to Tell Your Kid He's Not Getting His Big Gift

Rate: (0 Ratings)

As you doubtless know if you’re a parent, kids have vivid imaginations—never more so than when they imagine what they’re going to receive for Christmas. Every now and then, a kid will get it into his head that, yes, this is finally the year when Mom and Dad are going to buy him the Lego Death Star (list price $300), all logic, evidence and rotten behavior to the contrary. How do you deal with the inevitable disappointment on Christmas Day?

Flag Article

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Step1

Be proactive. Kids are very good at letting it be known (every five minutes or so) what they want for Christmas—and if you simply nod and say “mm, hm,” that may be misinterpreted as resigned agreement. Nip the problem in the bud. If your son asks for the Death Star, tell him point blank that it’s simply too expensive/complicated/messy and he should be prepared for something a bit less elaborate. Repeat as necessary.

Step2

Ask for a second choice. In order to drive home the point that the Lego Death Star won’t be orbiting his planet any time soon, ask your child what he’d like second most of all in the entire world. This may require a commitment of time as you make your way down the list (real wooden nunchuks, a Playstation 3, a 100-gigabyte iPod), and, of course, it pretty much eliminates the element of surprise. But agreeing on a gift in advance will avoid a lot of disappointment on one side and even more aggravation on the other.

Step3

Avoid the “carrot and stick” approach. As pleasant as it would be to have your child on her best behavior for weeks on end, it’s not fair to lead her to believe she’s receiving a Super Princess Pony Play Set (list price: more than your mortgage payment) when she’s really getting a preowned Barbie. Be honest, and let your daughter know up front that she’s not getting her dream gift, no matter how well she behaves.

Step4

Hold out hope for next year. As kids get older, they become increasingly willing to negotiate about their gifts—for example, forgoing a big birthday present in order to receive an extra-big Christmas gift. If you and your children can agree on the terms in advance—good grades, good behavior, less TV watching—you can put all this Christmas uncertainty well behind you and concentrate on the important thing, spending money.