How to Deal with Step-Children

Dealing with step-children is not a clear-cut process that you can establish easily. Your relationship with your spouse plays a direct role in determining how you will deal with the step-children. While every situation will be different, here are some basic steps on how to deal with step-children.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Talk with your spouse about rules, structure and discipline. You have to present a unified front on these issues with a list of house rules that are in effect no matter what.
2. Let your spouse deal with discipline at first. You have to establish yourself in the step-children’s lives before you can discipline them effectively.
3. Be patient. This will take time and patience.
4. Provide love, stability and safety. All families should give this to children, but step-children have already been through the destruction of one family, so they have some very justifiable doubts to overcome.
5. Build trust with your step-children by doing as you say.
   
   

Tips & Warnings

• There is no such thing as a freeze-dried dad or an instant mom. Expecting this from yourself is unrealistic.
• You are not a “rent-a-cop” parent. You are the real deal.
• Be open to the idea of professional counseling to help you, your spouse and your step-children adjust to the new facts of life.
• Beware a spouse that cuts you down in front of the step-children. The children quickly learn that you are not to be respected.
• Don’t rip on the birth parents, even if they deserve it. Don't participate even if the step-children themselves rip on their birth parents.