How to Deal with Step-Children

Dealing with step-children is not a clear-cut process that you can establish easily. Your relationship with your spouse plays a direct role in determining how you will deal with the step-children. While every situation will be different, here are some basic steps on how to deal with step-children.

Instructions

    • 1

      Talk with your spouse about rules, structure and discipline. You have to present a unified front on these issues with a list of house rules that are in effect no matter what.

    • 2

      Let your spouse deal with discipline at first. You have to establish yourself in the step-children's lives before you can discipline them effectively.

    • 3

      Be patient. This will take time and patience.

    • 4

      Provide love, stability and safety. All families should give this to children, but step-children have already been through the destruction of one family, so they have some very justifiable doubts to overcome.

    • 5

      Build trust with your step-children by doing as you say.

Tips & Warnings

  • There is no such thing as a freeze-dried dad or an instant mom. Expecting this from yourself is unrealistic.

  • You are not a "rent-a-cop" parent. You are the real deal.

  • Be open to the idea of professional counseling to help you, your spouse and your step-children adjust to the new facts of life.

  • Beware a spouse that cuts you down in front of the step-children. The children quickly learn that you are not to be respected.

  • Don't rip on the birth parents, even if they deserve it. Don't participate even if the step-children themselves rip on their birth parents.

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