How to Have a Successful Long-Distance Relationship

Long-distance relationships are among the hardest to maintain. They come in a number of forms. Going away to college is a common type of temporary long-distance relationship. Permanent relocation creates a more serious scenario. Every long-distance relationship will try your patience and require careful management.

Instructions

1. Establish clear expectations. It is important to establish guidelines right away in a long-distance relationship. Realistically, if both partners are looking for a serious relationship with a future, then sooner or later one of them will have to start over in a new location.

2. Establish communication guidelines. Each of you needs to know when, where, and how to contact the other. Without communication, there won't be much substance to your long-distance relationship.

3. Use e-mail. This is a great way to communicate with your partner without racking up huge phone bills. E-mail allows you to write and send mail instantaneously. It also gives you the chance to think about what you want to say before you say it. This will help you keep your foot out of your mouth.

4. Use instant messaging as another alternative to phone calls. You and your partner can communicate in real time, but you can still think about what you want to say without the other person's physical presence.

5. Maintain equal financial investment in the relationship. Travel and communication are two aspects of a long-distance relationship that may prove costly. It is important that neither partner bears too much of the financial burden.

6. When you do get together, enjoy yourselves. Don't overschedule. Make sure you have enough time to simply appreciate each other's presence.

Tips & Warnings

• Plan regular visits so you can coordinate work schedules around them.

• Be sure both of you are on the same page and share a thorough understanding of expectations for the relationship.

• Make sure neither of you undertakes dramatically disproportionate travel time or communication costs. Such imbalances can move the relationship in a negative direction.

• Use the phone rather than e-mail or instant messaging for important conversations.

• Online communication has weaknesses. E-mails and instant messaging can be emotionally ambiguous, as one's tone of voice cannot be heard. Misinterpretation may result. Avoid sarcasm, which can be dangerously misunderstood in an e-mail.