How to Execute the Easy Break-Up

Need to break up with your significant other for no reason? Here's the scoop on how to perform a "standard" break up.

Things You'll Need

  • A good poker face
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Instructions

    • 1

      Choose a semi-public setting, not too private.

    • 2

      Invite the victim-to-be to meet you at the chosen spot.

    • 3

      Tell the person the easiest part of the truth first i.e. you really do like him/her and that you've enjoyed your time together.

    • 4

      Hit them with the ol' "but we can't be involved anymore to the extent that we have been." Make sure to give no real good reasons.

    • 5

      Tell the person that you hope you can be friends but that you understand that he/she needs to do what is best for himself/herself.

Tips & Warnings

  • Be polite but firm.

  • Try to keep others out of it, and always make it about you.

  • "It's not you, it's me," is a time-tested classic.

  • Beware of sharp objects lying near by.

  • Don't be unnecessarily harsh.

  • Don't do it on a birthday or another holiday.

  • Statistics show a higher likelihood of an "incident" if break-up comes on a significant day.

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Comments

  • Christy Buena Feb 13, 2008
    My favorite line is, "Keep on truckin'" - Will Ferrell in the movie Old School

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