Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Step1
Start them off with a surprise that sets the tone for the rest of the afternoon when they arrive: “TV? I never said I had a TV!” When they bitterly complain, grudgingly break out a tiny Sony hand-held.
Step2
Have a ‘designated driver’ theme to the day, where only non-alcoholic tequila is served. Since YOU'RE not going anywhere, savor every beer in the lone twelve-pack you’ve purchased.
Step3
Serve a few dozen hot dogs for lunch, shouting “first come, first served!”—just as speed-eating champion Takeru Kobayashi walks through your door.
Step4
Hire a polka band that will break into song every time one of the teams gets a first down.
Step5
Fax mock ‘Wanted: Large Reward’ posters of all party attendees to Dog the Bounty Hunter a few hours before game-time. Make sure to include directions to your house.
Step6
As a silly, innocent prank, sneak out at halftime and set up one of those ‘severe tire damage’ hazards at the exit to your driveway. Make sure to lock your door after your guests leave!
Step7
Turn off the game with the score tied and three minutes remaining. Explain yourself with, “Jeez, who can stand all that tension?”
