How to Chase Your Child

If the best things in life are free, chasing your child has to be on the top ten list of the fantastic free! Follow these simple steps to avoid pitfalls (and headlong tumbles) when chasing your child.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Chasing should be fun! A kid isn’t a puppy; you don’t want your puppy to think chase is a game, but your kid should squeal with delight when you set the tone by saying playfully, “I’m going to get you!”
2. Raise your eyebrows, curl your fingers up like claws and smile fiendishly to give your child a head start.
3. Run after your child, talking trash in a friendly, age-appropriate way. “Here I come!” for a toddler, “I’m going to catch you!” for a school age child, and “You’d better run sucker” for a playful teen.
4. Chase your child, mindful of his or her mood. If fear or hysteria creeps in, stop immediately. If peeing occurs, pause the game for a potty break, a change of clothes; then get back to the game. If your preschooler gets so excited she’s hyperventilating, consider another game, like hopscotch. If your teen is radiantly gleeful because there is no way you can catch him, consider getting into better shape so you can surprise him next time.
5. Catch your child, tickling with wild abandon, but not until he or she cries. Tickling into tears is bad, and nothing but a power trip.
6. Swing your child into the air by the upper arms or torso (if possible) and twirl around until you both fall to the ground giggling.
7. Repeat steps 1 through 6 as often as life allows.

Tips & Warnings

• Peeing because you’re laughing yourself silly is one thing, peeing because you’re scared or incontinent is another. If your child is peeing with fright, or you realize you’ve borne too many babies for such an active game, consider tickling without the preamble.
• Chasing your child can be a useful redirect for an obstinate toddler, a mood shifter for a cranky preschooler or a way to lighten up during a conversation with your teen.
• Only a fool would play chase on an uneven surface, cement, slippery floors, where dog poop is present or it is otherwise unsafe. Don’t be a fool.
• There comes a time when they chase you! Chase your children every chance you get; you only get one shot at giving your kid a happy childhood.