How to Properly Conduct Yourself at a Rock / Hip-Hop Show

Even experienced concertgoers need to familiarize themselves with this handy guide to etiquette at the big show. Just because you don’t need to know the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork doesn’t mean they’re aren’t unspoken rules of proper conduct. Commit this guide to memory and avoid being perceived as a complete tool.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Concert tickets
• Comfortable shoes
• Light, comfortable clothes

1. You SHOULD pick something to wear to the show that is vaguely individualistic, but you don’t have to overthink this. No need for painting your face, dyeing your hair, suddenly developing an affinity for leather and studs. Just be YOU – but not the “work” you. Pick something comfortable and something you will not overheat in when you are packed into the club, arena or stadium – at the show, there is no such thing as personal space. You will have people on top of you and if you don’t, you may be at the wrong show.

2. It’s essential that you do NOT wear the concert t-shirt that you just bought for the band you are seeing in front of you. That’s lame.

3. That reminds me. Don’t listen to your CDs of this band on the way to the show. That will do nothing but deflate the energy of hearing that same song in the live setting an hour or two later, and your friends will hate you for it.

4. Ladies, don’t climb up on your boyfriend’s shoulders and block the view of the other 25 people behind you. Fellas, for God’s sake, don’t let your girlfriend climb up on your back.

5. The greatest faux pas of all is to sing along loud enough for others to hear you – unless you are invited to do so from the stage. Look, we’re all here to hear Ozzy scream “I AM IRON MAN” at the top of his lungs, not YOU.

6. If you shove people out of your way and step on them in an effort to move closer to the stage, you are pretty much a dick. If space opens up and you want to intensify your grooviness, by all means, step right up. But you shouldn’t have to hurt people or ruin their good time to do it.

7. If someone tries to shove through you, give them no ground. Make them suffer even if there is no room for them to stand. They made their bed, now they must lie in it, either by retreating or moving forward, but not by encroaching on your good time.

8. You should welcome incidental body contact in the spirit of rock and roll, even if you are hit hard enough to send you flying across the room. It’s all in good fun. We are not here to enjoy Stravinsky through opera glasses – we are here to RAWK.

9. A controversial rule, but one I am happy to weigh in on nonetheless – tall guys are NOT obligated to stand in the rear of the hall, with all the other tall guys. They have just as much a right as their shorter brethren in rock do to enjoy themselves. Getting there early is the best way to combat the onslaught of the tall.

Tips & Warnings

• Drugs and alcohol are no one’s business but your own. But if you decide to indulge, make sure you have friends there that can take care of you, and that can transport you safely to and from the show.

[mommashopper]

on 11/4/2008 Love this article. I will keep in mind when I take my niece to a concert. thanks

[Thims]

on 10/13/2008 I don't see wearing a big VW emblem around your neck is good conduct! We all know a bic lighter is a must! ;-)

[SherrryMiller]

on 8/16/2008 Mellow good sense and wisdom, novel ingredients in a rock concert article. And therefore, vaguely suspicious.

[riggyrules]

on 10/13/2006 Also, keep this in mind at a hiphop show: As cool as 8 Mile was, there is no need to recreate it rap battling with your friends in between acts!