Step1
They have shared experience.
Standing at the precipice of adulthood, with one foot still in adolescence, many girls leap into womanhood without even looking.
Impatient to grow up, they dream of moving into that place where their childhood dreams of a grow-up future could finally come true.
Racing past adolescence’s finish line, they idolized the freedom, perfection and pleasure they will soon find as adults.
They are presented with images everywhere – on television, in magazines, on billboards throughout their towns and cities – of beautiful young women, living powerfully in the prime of their lives, free, confident, popular and beautiful. Why, in our culture, should they expect less for themselves?
Upon graduating from high school, the adventure they had been anticipating – seemingly forever – could now officially begin.
Step2
They Have Shared Anxieties About Their Futures.
But which life to live? With a heightened sense of urgency informing their answer, and with so much to choose from, many girls are lost when faced with decisions about their futures.
Predictably, they pursue different life goals. Many will go to college, while some enter the work force, or possibly the military service. Few get married. Fewer have children. But regardless of the life they choose, many will still feel incomplete. Something is missing; and somehow they link that something back to them – to some deficiency in themselves.
They are fraught with self-criticism, which fuels their anxieties. They will never be pretty enough. They will never have enough money. They feel fat. They need a (better) job. The guy they like won’t call them back. They have an STD.
They are inundated with work. There is never enough time. They foresee a future with no Social Security.
During this time of introspection, they were confronted on television with the horror of 9-11.
Nothing is as they imagined it would be. Just like in middle school, life sucks. Only now it’s life threatening. Their futures seem uncertain. And they have few – if any – resources to help them.
Their guilty self-absorption has been eclipsed by a consciousness of their own mortality. Burdened by their role as almost-grown-ups, they feel oppressed by the pending responsibility of adulthood. They arrived ill prepared and feel trapped by their circumstance. Didn’t anyone leave a map?
Step3
They Have Shared Coping Behaviors (If You Can Call it That)
To quell their anxieties, girls experiment with alcohol, diet pills and drugs. But some turn to more drastic measures to dull their anxiousness.
Some medicate through “self-mutilation” – the act of cutting one’s skin with sharp objects to express suppressed emotion. Disturbingly prevalent, and highly correlated with eating disorders and sexual abuse, “cutters” internalize anguish beneath their scars.
These behaviors – many of which begin as coping mechanisms – can easily transform into life-threatening addictions, or suicide. Girls are generally more vulnerable to these issues – alcoholism, anorexia, bulimia, depression, drug abuse, eating disorders, self-mutilation – than boys. They are also more likely to consider suicide.
Step4
They are Objectified.
Pornography and sexually explicit media (i.e., video games, music videos, movies, song lyrics, etc.) portray them as insatiable nymphs – influencing their carnal attitudes and sexual behaviors. Most of them are sexual – either by choice or by force.
Through various media outlets, the entire culture is exposed to images of young women as explicit sex objects. Once exposed, some girls develop warped behaviors and attitudes about their sexuality.
Incessant exposure to sadistic explicit material has been proven to affect all demographics, regardless of gender. Sexually violent media has been linked to increased aggressive violent and sexual behavior against women; to relaxed cultural attitudes about sexuality, violence and rape; and to less punitive punishments for perpetrators by society at large.
As the victims of most sexual and physical attacks – both from strangers and acquaintances – from a statistical perspective, young females are constantly under siege. Even the advertisers lust after them – not to mention older women who collectively spend billions, through every conceivable means, including surgery and highly expensive beauty aids, trying to recapture their youth.
Step5
They Are All Under Pressure.
Everyone wants a piece of them – the unwrinkled and the affluent, the fertile and the free. Whether it’s beauty, sex, money or power, young females are perceived to have it all.
The cultural pressure inexorably drains them of their resources, and leaves them devoid of tools to deal with their lives. It often short-circuits what limited coping reserves they have.
From all of this, they need an escape – an outlet – a safe place to express their experience and find support.
Step6
They Are Uniquely Tied To The Internet.
Some turn to the Internet for this purpose. With their identities protected, they openly share their issues with one another, and actively seek each other’s help. They prefer the Internet to a professional counselor or therapist because they believe no one person could possibly help them, their troubles are too personal to disclose, they can handle their issues on their own, and they fear their problems will not be kept confidential. The Internet enables them to control the process of finding help. It also levels the economic playing field, as web-based services are usually free of charge.
Spending 10 hours a week on the web – potentially anonymously – and interacting regularly with their mobile devices, young females have established a strong presence online.
According to eMarketer, women make up the majority of the online population in the United States. It is predicted that in the near future, they will outpace males, accounting for 52.6% in 2008.
Young females – in particular – are the most active online. They regularly instant message; take quizzes; download songs and ring tones; blog; read one another’s personal home pages; and research health, entertainment, news, weather and support groups.
The web grounds them. Many confess that they feel lost when they do not check email at least once a day. When faced with the hypothetical dilemma of being stranded on a desert island, most chose the Internet as their one source of media.
So the next time your teenage daughter mopes around the house and spends hours, simultaneously instant messaging with twelve different friends, have a little empathy. And remember, interactivity's her oxygen. Give her some space to breathe.
Enthusiast 
