How to talk your way out of a speeding ticket

Ok this is not guaranteed to work but if you follow my advice you've got a better shot at being left with a warning rather than a pink piece of paper. This is also written from a male perspective and generally tries to avoid cliches.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Humility, tact, respect and common sense.

1. First of all you'll need to get over your self, accept that you're being pulled over and that yes you have most likely broken that law however small that law might be in your eyes.
2. Pull over to the RIGHT SIDE of the road. Try and do so quickly and using your turn signal but not in an erratic or frantic manner. Cops get nervous and irritated when drivers seem agitated and unpredictable. Above all stay calm and listen to whatever the police officer tells you over the loud speaker.
3. Once pulled over to a safe distance from traffic, go ahead and have both passenger and drivers side windows rolled down, shut off the engine and have your drivers license, registration and insurance ready when the officer walks up.
4. Generally try and not make sudden movements or seem as if you're digging around for anything. Put your self in their shoes. They have no idea who you really are. Police officers are trained to be constantly cautious when approaching you.

Tips & Warnings

• "You are wrong" keep this in mind but do not be overly appologetic about it.
• Consider the daily routine of a state patrolman or woman: their job is to enforce traffic laws. They've pulled dozens of people over and most have been rude and verbally abusive. Try not to be one of those people. You should strive to be the most polite and friendly person they've pulled over today.
• Pick a safe place for both you and the patrol officer to pull over and talk. You're more likely to get a ticket if the officer is already annoyed that he has to either put his back to 80 mph traffic in the carpool lane or pinch himself between your car and those large concrete median barriers. It's a generally stressful situation and probably won't make them like you any more.
• Put out your cigarettes and end your cell phone conversation. This is common courtesy and should be common sense. Nobody wants to breathe your second hand pal mals and listen to you complain into your phone about the jerk that pulled you over.
• Try and use the word Sir a few times, respect helps as they've most likely been berated and argued with all day.
• Never argue or offer excuses; unless you've got a hemorrhaging friend or pregnant wife in the car they don't care.
• Admitting that you've made a mistake is always a good idea. Simply accepting responsibility is a breath of fresh air to them.
• Police officers are killed every day during routine traffic stops. There is no way to tell the difference between your self and the guy with the bodies in the trunk and sawed off shotgun under the seat. They have to approach each situation as if it could go wrong. So try and not make sudden movements or erratic lane changes when you see that you are being pulled over.
• The police officer is just doing his job and does not care what city councilman lives next door to you. Threats and name dropping will most likely not help your cause.
• Consider where you are pulling over. That patrol officer has to ge out of their car and approach you. They really do not appreciate being put in dangerous sitautions. See those caught on tape shows where state troopers are hit by passing traffic while arguing with a minivan for further examples of what not to do.