How to Party with the Kids When Your Spouse is Out of Town

When the cat’s away, the mice will play! Why is it that an absent spouse (no matter how nice) brings out the rebellious kid in the remaining parent? It is OK to embrace single parenthood during a partner’s absence by partying with the kids rather than bemoaning your solo status and being extra-strict. You’ll be a happier parent to come home to, and have happy memories of partying with your kids.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Entertainment ideas
• Fun food
• Patience
• A good attitude

1. When you learn that your spouse is going to be gone for a day, a weekend, too long to envision, consider it an opportunity to play with your kids, not a vast wasteland of missed adult conversation and chances to get away.
2. Make a plan, and get the kids involved! Do you want to watch movies in the big bed? Invite friends over for a sleepover? Go out to eat or order in? Wear pajamas the entire weekend? Get creative with the kids; planning is half the fun.
3. Kiss your spouse goodbye with a happy heart, knowing you have Rocky Road ice cream to look forward to, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on video and an easy dinner to cook (ramen noodles are a snap).
4. Enjoy the kids without another adult to distract or enable you.
   
   
5. Be grateful to have your kids, and a spouse who will be coming back soon!
   
   

Tips & Warnings

• Clear the calendar and pull out the building sets, board games, 500 piece puzzles or other group activities there never seems to be enough time to complete. Pay attention to the pastime and have a Zen attitude, enjoying the voyage instead of focusing on the destination.
• Party guilt-free with the kids by enjoying activities your spouse actively dislikes: zoos, construction sites, county fairs or televised sports. Getting tattoos together is going too far.
• Partying with the kids can mean setting up fun opportunities for your kids that allow you free time! If going to a friend’s house is fun, make that happen for your child. Maybe your preteen can go to a flick with her peers, or go out to the mall with Aunt Sally—the goal is to have a good time, not be your child’s personal slave.
• Make sure to leave room in the schedule for necessary rituals like soccer practice, pet care and basic bathing. While the cat’s away, the mice can play, but the dog shouldn’t have to cross his legs and pine for a good meal.
• When tempers flare or patience runs out, don’t be afraid to give yourself a time out. A short break in your bedroom with a book and a grownup cup of coffee could save your sanity, but hiding all weekend is a no-no.
• Don’t have too good a time while your partner is away, or the kids will start asking him or her “When are you going out of town again?” and greet him with "Oh no, Dad's back!" which could lead to hurt feelings, an alienated adult, and require weeks of reassurance.
• “Partying” (in this context) means having a good time together, not using drugs, alcohol or recreational sex as a diversion. Even if these are activities your children enjoy, it sends a bad message to participate in them with your kids, especially against the wishes of your absent spouse. Aim for age-appropriate activities that fall within legal limits, social norms, healthy boundaries and will not encourage incarceration.