How to Wallow in the Blues

Feeling blue? Sometimes the best thing to do is wallow in it! When you make having the blues a work of art, a labor of love and practically a good time, it’s hard to keep from smiling. And once you’re smiling, the blues may get blown away.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Bathtub
• Television/VCR/DVD combo
• Comfort food
• A couch

1. Feeling blah, bloated, inferior, intimidated and like lying on the couch all day is a good idea? Do it! Don’t fight it, wallow in it; if possible, call in sick to life and take the day off.
2. Eat comfort food until you start craving broccoli. If you like macaroni and cheese, have some. Ice cream? It won’t kill you. Give in to your desire (going to the store in pajamas is optional).
3. Watch comforting media: familiar favorite movies, sob story romances, daytime television or BBC. Let your brain go on hiatus.
4. Be lazy. Don’t let the fish die, but disregard duties like sweeping, mopping or tidying up. A little dust never hurt anyone.
5. Call a friend and moan about your woes. If this is a regular practice, your call may not be appreciated, but if this is a once in a great while wallow in the blues, be the “friend in need” to his or her “friend indeed.”
6. Spend an hour petting the dog or cat, crying about nothing. Tell your furry friend about your troubles; even if they’re the same troubles as last time, and you haven’t made a move to change anything, he won’t judge you, look at his watch or tell you "that’s what you get" for disregarding his advice.
7. Re-read a favorite book (if you run out of attractive media), with a bowl of popcorn on your tummy, a diet soda on the coffee table and a batch of chocolate chip cookies in the oven. It’s your party, you can cry if you want to.
8. Continue until bedtime if you choose, but if you feel like getting up and doing something productive (and you may), feel free.

Tips & Warnings

• If the couch isn’t wallowing enough, take a long hot bath: light a scented candle, listen to a book on tape or grab a paperback, set a beverage and a bowl of popcorn or chips beside the bath. Soak until your skin is wrinkly, every ounce of tension is taken from your body, and you need to get up, stretch your legs and pee.
• Sometimes you have small company during your blues. If they're toddler-age or above, invite your kids to share your blue day: feed them treats, let them watch movies, encourage long cuddles with Fido. They'll be happy (and wonder what they did right) and you'll get your day off.
• Give your spouse the heads up about your down day to avoid confusion and alarm. Be straight up about your need for couch time, and support his or her need for the same when it arises.
• The periodic blues are different from a bona fide depression, which should be treated by a medical professional and deserves immediate attention. If a good wallow doesn’t cut the fog, or you believe you are suffering from depression, call your doctor.