How to Decline a Written Invitation

The formality of the event dictates the formality of your regrets.

Things You'll Need

• Etiquette Books
• Fountain Pens
• Stationery

Instructions

1. Read the invitation carefully. It should give specific instructions regarding a correct response. If it says R.S.V.P, a response is expected whether you plan to attend or not. If it says "regrets only," reply only if you are not planning to attend.

2. Respond as directed. A written invitation is a rare thing these days and is usually used only for weddings, state occasions or some such affair for which a headcount is critical.

3. Fill out the response card, if one is included, and send it in as soon as possible in the enclosed envelope.

4. Send your personal regrets. If you have printed stationery, send a handwritten note. The note might read, "I regret that I will not be attending the dinner party, as I must be out of town."

5. Keep in mind that your response to a baby- or wedding-shower invitation or to other casual events may be done over the telephone. Contact the person listed on the invitation.

Tips & Warnings

• You don't have to offer an excuse if you don't care to. Simply say that you regret you cannot attend.