How to Teach Children Not to Bite

When children bite, parents feel very concerned and often don't know how to stop the behavior. It helps to know why children bite and then use this information to deal with the problem. Please remember that this is a common problem.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Understand that the reason behind biting often differs with the age of the child. Infants bite to "taste" and because there is something there to bite. They could be teething. Toddlers often bite out of frustration and to get negative attention.

2. Respond promptly if your child starts biting. Stoop or kneel at the child's level and hold them firmly by the shoulders. Say firmly, "No. You cannot bite. Biting hurts." Turn away to focus on the victim.

3. Do not give attention for the behavior. A firm, disapproving voice and consistently used words gets the message across.

4. Keep an eye on the child to see if the behavior is repeated. If there is even an attempt to bite, step in and handle this just the same as if the child had actually bitten.

5. Explain to a toddler in a bit more detail, saying that teeth are for eating. Say something like, "You may not bite people. Biting hurts. Teeth are for eating."

6. Help your child to learn words to express his/her feelings. Encourage your child to express himself/herself. Bottling up emotions combined with the inability to communicate the feelings can lead to this behavior.

7. Give a safe alternative to an infant, like a toy or teething ring.

8. Work with the day care or caregiver to make sure you both handle this consistently in action and word.

9. Don't lose your temper, humiliate the child, or do something like bite back. These actions make the behavior worse and do not teach that the behavior was simply unacceptable. Remain calm; don't lose control when the child does.

10. Ask yourself questions to try to find out what the underlying problem might be. Is there something physically bothering the child? Does the child need more activity? Does the child get enough positive attention?

11. Consider your own potential contribution to the problem. Is the family under stress? Do you express your own anger appropriately?

12. Seek help from the pediatrician if the biting persists.

Tips & Warnings

• Talk to the caregiver or other responsible adult if your own child is bitten. Find out what led to the incident and what the person is doing to prevent further incidents. Insist that the situation be handled, not ignored.
• Avoid scheduling playdates or other activities when the child is overtired. Schedule them for the time of day when the child is least tired.