How to Decide Whose Name to Take When You Get Married

Tradition dictates that the bride assumes her husband's name at marriage. But traditions change. Today, not only are some women keeping their maiden names, but some men are taking their wives' family names.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Official New Bride Name Change Kit
• Name Change Announcements
• Name Change Forms

1. Think about how much your name means to you. If you've built a business or reputation that thrives because of name recognition, you might not want to start all over with a new name.

2. Listen to how your new name will sound if you change it. Are you willing to be called Mrs. Robinson the rest of your life? Will you be taken seriously as Rosa Sosa, or are you tired of being Bruce Wayne?

3. Ask your partner if people frequently mispronounce his or her name. If so, are you willing to tolerate that? Perhaps Mr. Cjeka might be content to become Mr. McKay.

4. Talk the name change over with your partner and both of your families. A woman with no brothers may opt to carry on the family name. A son's decision to give up his last name might offend or hurt his parents.

5. Discuss what last name you'd like your children to have. Some couples opt to combine their names, or give daughters their mother's name and sons their father's name. If your children will all take their father's name, will Mom feel excluded if her name is different?

6. Think about the broader social implications, if that's important to you. Do you believe that it's important for everyone in a new family to have the same name? Or do you feel that relinquishing a name implies inequality or loss of identity?

Tips & Warnings

• Consider hyphenation, but be careful. Very long names won't fit on forms with boxes to fill in, and too many syllables can be a real mouthful.
• Some women choose to use their maiden names for business and their married names in their personal lives. This arrangement might be the best of both worlds - but it also could cause confusion when people know you by different names. So think carefully about the decision.
• Women who change their last names may want to retain their maiden names as their new middle names. And men might consider taking their wives' maiden names as their own new middle names.
• Don't bow to pressure from your spouse, family or friends. A name is very personal; choose the one that feels right for you.

[philiplynch]

on 10/23/2009 This article is quite strange. It implies that men change their names to their wives names just as frequently as vice versa, when clearly it is a very rare and unusual exception. E-how is not the place to make political statements.

[RegCind]

on 12/20/2006 Getting married soon, my significant other wants to take my last name and still keep his last name, is that weird i have never heard of a man keeping his name and adding my name also