How to Come Out to Your Co-workers

If you're tired of feeling left out of the "what I did last weekend" conversations around the office because you're a lesbian or a gay man, maybe it's time to come out to your co-workers. The decision is personal, but it may make your workday world a more pleasant place to be.

Instructions

1. Take stock of your situation. If you're concerned about a person or group who might find out about your sexuality from a co-worker, maybe you should start by coming out somewhere other than at work.

2. Consider how this action will affect your immediate future at work. Not every coming out has a happy ending. On the other hand, a few days of discomfort may be better than years of lying.

3. Try doing it naturally. Bring in a picture or two of you on a date or on vacation or of your partner if you're in a long-term relationship.

4. Start giving a few more details of your activities. "I saw that movie with my friend Harry last Friday. We loved it."

5. Participate actively in lunchroom discussions of home life, foibles of mates and other personal (but not intimate) topics.

6. Answer the question "Oh, are you gay?" with a simple "Yes."

7. Take one or two good work friends aside and tell them you're gay, if you're not comfortable coming out "naturally." They'll let others know.

8. Be considerate. Share only appropriate information.

9. Change the subject if people appear uncomfortable or if the conversation seems to die. "Speaking of movies, did you see ... ?"

10. Be prepared to listen. Many times co-workers want to tell you about friends or family members who are gay.

Tips & Warnings

• Read "Respond to Homophobic Comments," under Related eHows. If some people at work know you're gay and others haven't gotten the word yet, any off-color joke or anti-gay comment will make your friends in the know look to you for the first response.

• Not everyone needs to know you're gay. Remember, it's only one part of who you are.