How to Introduce Your Same-Sex Partner to Your Parents

Introducing your partner to your parents can be a scary experience, particularly if your parents aren't 100 percent comfortable with you being gay. But it's important that the people in your life eventually get to know each other.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Make sure you're already out to your parents before you introduce them to a partner. While bringing in a partner might be a good way to introduce the topic of being gay, many parents feel doubly shocked when they learn that their child is gay and that the child has chosen a lifemate - both are emotional events for some parents.

2. Try to make the introduction at a time when few other people are around. When others are around, one of you may feel obligated to hide the depth of your feelings, and that's only masking a problem that will rear its head again later.

3. Choose a time of the year when things aren't too busy. The holidays are the worst time to discuss this - there are too many other things going on.

4. Tell your parents in advance that you will be introducing them to your partner. That way, any strong emotions will have somewhat subsided before the actual meeting.

5. Consider rescheduling the introduction if your parents react violently or hatefully. In that case, you need to work through other issues first.

6. Tell your parents a little about your partner so they won't be too surprised by how tall or short or fat he or she is - you don't want them to be overwhelmed by the beard, the green hair or the pierced eyebrow, for example.

7. Educate your partner about your parents. Make sure he or she knows that no one ever goes into the living room, that your father explodes if anyone touches his pewter Civil War figures and that your mother doesn't like to talk about the reason she limps.

8. Schedule the meeting at a location where you and your partner can simply walk out if something goes wrong.

9. Be direct with the introduction. Say something simple: "Mom and Dad, this is my partner, Chris."

10. Point out common interests as often as possible. Perhaps everyone cheers for the same football team or your partner also grew up in the South.

11. Stay calm, and remind your partner to stay calm. As long as you're prepared, you can handle it.

[Lisals2007]

on 11/26/2007 Unfortunately, I met my true love on Lesbianconnect.com, I can not live without her, but my parents refused me to bring her to our home and told me if I did not break up with her, I would not be his daughter. I felt very sad and spend the Christmas Day with my lover. But I also love my parents, what should I do to change their thoughts?

on 11/22/2005 Leave clues for your parents indicating that you might be Gay / Lesbian, it will put them at ease slightly.