How to Be Sensitive to Pronouns and Gender Issues When Talking to a Transgendered Person
Whether you're straight or gay, you probably have a little trouble understanding transgendered people, and that's only natural. The idea of living as a member of the opposite sex or of changing sexes is foreign to most people. But whether you understand transgendered people or not, it's possible to be more sensitive to pronoun use and gender issues when talking with them. Here's how.
- Difficulty:
- Easy
Instructions
-
-
1
Use a little common sense. If the person standing in front of you looks like a woman or is trying to look like a woman, address that person as a woman. If the person looks like a man, then consider that person a man.
-
2
Use pronouns that agree with the way the person is dressed. Some transgendered people live part of the time as a man and part of the time as a woman, and they usually want to be treated like a full member of whichever sex they're dressed as.
-
3
Address the person by a name that's consistent with the sex presented to you. Even if the person has always been Michael to you, address her as Michelle (or whatever female name she has chosen), when she's dressed as a woman.
-
4
Remember that gender identity and sexual orientation are two separate things. Some transgendered people were born transgendered and gay, whereas others were born transgendered and straight.
-
5
Be sensitive about the person's feelings if you're planning an outing with them. They may want to avoid conservative areas when dressed a certain way or if they are not yet out, they may want to avoid the area near where they work, for example.
-
6
Ask the person a question if there's something you aren't sure how to handle. They'll probably be grateful you were thoughtful enough to bring it up.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
Be careful about making judgmental remarks, assuming that their situation is by choice or a reaction to their upbringing. Many researchers believe transgendered people are no more responsible for their feelings than they are responsible for being left-handed or having green eyes.
Related Searches
Comments
-
kristianc
Dec 16, 2009
Its Transgender not Transgendered. NO "ed" at the end. -
orlando098
Jul 19, 2009
It depends how you use the term - most people these days use it as a broad umbrella term whih includes crossdressers, some of whom do wish to be treated as the "opposite" sex some of the time (i.e. when they are presenting as such) but not all of the time. You seem to see "transgendered" as equivalent to "transsexual" which is not how most people use it. Cheetos, you seem a bit prejudiced against crossdressers (or bigendered people as some would define themselves as these days)
-
Jane Smith
Nov 16, 2008
Uhm, Cheetos, I am working on a relationship with a MTF transgender who phase shifts in mid sentence from one sex to another, and is a long way from becoming permanently female full time. Just so you know...
-
Spookeriffic
Oct 24, 2008
In reference to Cheetos' comment - not all transgendered people choose to transition or undergo gender reassignment surgery. As a member of the transgender community, I'm biologically female, but I present as male, and have no intentions of transitioning. I do not ALWAYS present as male. I didn't find any problem with this how to. It's simply a case of address them as the presented gender unless stated otherwise.
-
Spookeriffic
Oct 24, 2008
In reference to Cheetos' comment - not all transgendered people choose to transition or undergo gender reassignment surgery. As a member of the transgender community, I'm biologically female, but I present as male, and have no intentions of transitioning. I do not ALWAYS present as male. I didn't find any problem with this how to. It's simply a case of address them as the presented gender unless stated otherwise.
