How to Create an Identity as a Gay Male Couple

Creating recognition for your relationship is a process that takes time and effort.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Photo Albums
• Cameras
• Film

1. Make it a special event when you introduce your partner to your family or friends.
2. Select an introduction activity that provides everyone with a balance between the informal process of becoming acquainted and the formal structure of, for example, going to a movie or athletic event.
3. Tell the story about how you and your partner met. Repeat the story often and use your story as the starting point for your identity as a couple.
4. Inform family and friends of the date you and your partner consider to be your anniversary.
5. Organize a ceremony or ritual in which you and your partner exchange vows in front of family and friends. This event may be as large and formal or as small and intimate as you and your partner desire.
6. Celebrate your relationship by regularly hosting informal social events where friends and family see you and your partner working together as a couple.
7. Register your relationship with your local government if domestic partnerships are recognized.
8. Talk to the benefits department at your place of employment to see if your employer provides benefits for domestic partners.
9. Attend work-related social events as a couple, if this is comfortable for the two of you.
10. Recognize the birthdays, anniversaries, births or special occasions of friends and family by sending cards signed by both of you.

Tips & Warnings

• Document your life together as partners. Take pictures, create annual rituals and celebrate your relationship with friends. All these combine to create a sense of identity for your relationship.
• Families may or may not provide you and your partner with emotional support for your relationship. Identify and cultivate friendships with people who will support your relationship.