How to Decide Whether It's OK to Use the Word "Queer"

The word "queer" is one of the most common derogatory terms used against homosexuals, but some gays have adopted it as their own. Is that OK? Here's how to decide whether you want to use the word "queer."

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Dictionaries
• Thesauri

1. Look at the dictionary and you will find that queer is defined as worthless, counterfeit, questionable or suspicious - hardly the image of gays that you want to perpetuate.

2. Check out Dictionary.com to see for yourself.

3. Stay at the dictionary site a moment, however, and you will see that queer can also mean eccentric and unconventional. Depending on your personality, you just might like the sound of those words.

4. Ask yourself why it is that some African-American people use the "n" word to refer to themselves, but that term has never caught on for use in organizational names like "queer" has in some places.

5. Decide if you accept or reject the argument that using "queer" yourself dilutes the pain it can cause or somehow helps to reclaim the word from those who use it against gays.

6. Decide, on the other hand, if you think that using the word reminds people of painful memories of verbal abuse that they'd rather forget.

7. Consider that while using the word may help to reclaim it, it also conjures up negative images in some straight people's minds. And most of us would like people to have a positive opinion of the gay community.

8. Keep your life simple, though, by using "queer" - even if some say it's offensive. It's a lot easier to say the "queer community" than the "gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning community."

9. Try to make sure all of your language embraces equality rather than emphasizes the differences between you and others.

Tips & Warnings

• While some people use "queer" as shorthand for "gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning," others use the letters "LGBT" or the made-up-words "LesBiGay" or "LesBiGayTr." Still others simply say "gay" and let the context determine what they mean.
• Remember that for straight people, it's almost always inappropriate to use the word "queer." Use of it by straight people is likely to be considered offensive - whether it was meant that way or not.

[Whangdoodles]

on 1/10/2009 ...such as queer enables. I see it as a positive orientation, it makes me a part of a whole variety of challenging and exciting personal outlooks.

[Whangdoodles]

on 1/10/2009 I like queer because it denotes me both as someone who is gay and someone who varies from a typical life path. I pride myself as being different from the status quo. Some would describe being "other" as a painful process, and talking about these feelings are an essential step to take. Sure there are painful memories from my youth that could once have been brought up by certain words, but I guess I've worked through that to a new place, a place where I would communicate with a positive future rather than a dark and dreary past. I do see how straight people should not be forced to conjure up negative images in their minds, but I’m not going to let something so abstract stop me from expressing myself, and moving forward with my concept of self.

I define myself as queer because using a term that speaks only about sexual preference doesn't do half the work that an inclusive term such a

[EllenTeva]

on 12/5/2007 I use "queer" because it's easier than the LGBT. To me, that sounds like an alphabet soup mix. When I refer to us as queers, my straight cousin always tell me she prefers "gay." But as a lesbian with several trans friends, "queer" includes them in the community, unlike "gay."

[anonymousgamer]

on 2/13/2007 Appropriating language and symbols is something the LGBTQQIPPS and other 'minority' communities have been doing for quite a while now. The pink triangle, originally used in Nazi Germany, is a perfect case in point. Fifty years ago it was respectful to use the term 'negro'. 'Chicano', a near-ubiquitous term of prideful identification in my own community, originated as an ethnic slur. Personally, I have plenty of friends in their 20s who use not only 'queer', but also 'fag' as terms of genuine endearment. Language is not static; we should be able to laugh at ourselves, and the ignorance of others.

on 8/11/2006 Once upon a time, homosexual folk cleverly coined the word "Gay" as a casual way to describe themselves. This usage expressed homosexuality as the exact opposite of what most people thought of as a sick, dreary and sad lifestyle. It symbolized this marginalized people having pride in themselves for the first time. Then came the word "Lesbian" as an alternate term to describe homosexual women, a romantic appellation that conjured up images of ancient Greece. Once again, pride was evident.

Today, however, a pervasive culture of self-hatred has motivated many homosexual persons to embrace the epithet "queer," one of the most potent expressions of anti-Gay sentiment that exists. Lesbians and Gay men believe that by using this word, and using it even more frequently than homophobics use it, they can drain it of its poison. You can find a host of Gay pundits who argue that this questionable process works. There's only one problem: If you're a twelve-year-old high school kid, and your classmates ram your head down a toilet while screaming "faggot" and "queer" at you, the poison somehow seems just as potent as it ever was. In other words: You can take hate speech out of its hateful context, but you can't take the hateful context out of the hate speech.