How to Support Your Gay Son or Daughter

When your gay or lesbian child comes out to you, be careful not to let your own
feelings overshadow his or her need for support.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Listen to your child and keep your emotions in check.

2. Remember that coming out is harder on your child than it is on you.

3. Let your child know that you still love him or her unconditionally.

4. Tell your child that you need time to digest this information.

5. Ask your child questions, if you are prepared to hear the answers.

6. Keep in close touch with your son or daughter so that he or she won't feel isolated.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember that your child is still the same person he or she was before sharing this news with you.

on 11/22/2005 My son no more chose being gay than I chose to be straight. We just are who we are! His father and I love him for the person he is.

on 11/22/2005 They are still your child. No matter what, let them know that you still love them. They are still the child you brought into this world and loved. Nothing changes that, no matter what!

on 11/22/2005 The single most important thing that I have been able to give to my son, from the very first moment he came to me with the news, has been that I have always loved him, and WILL always love him, regardless of my own difficulties with his "choice."

on 11/22/2005 As it says above, DO NOT ignore your child or disagree so fast. I looked for my mother's support and that helped immensely! Just remember that you are more than likely the first to find out. Help with support and information so they stay safe.