How to Relate to Your Partner's Children

By eHow Relationships & Family Editor

Rate: (2 Ratings)

It can be awkward getting to know a new partner's grown children, especially if you aren't used to young people to begin with. Keeping a few basic principles in mind can help things go more smoothly.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Step1
Understand that nervousness is completely normal for all of you. Try to relax.
Step2
Be friendly but not overly friendly. Your partner's children have lives of their own and want to keep it that way. Treat them like the adults they are.
Step3
Recognize that they may be jealous of you at first. After all, they share a strong bond with their parents and may feel threatened by your presence in their lives.
Step4
Stay somewhat detached. At the best of times, children and parents have complicated relationships. Don't get too involved in their problems or issues.
Step5
Respect your partner's relationship with the children, whether you agree with it or not.
Step6
Be discreet. Discussing the children with your partner can be tricky, and if a child trusts you enough to confide in you, the reverse will also hold true.
Step7
Be yourself. Nobody likes a phony.

Tips & Warnings

  • As with getting to know anyone, showing a genuine interest in the children will make your relationship more satisfying for all of you. The children may indeed become new friends.
  • It's important to keep your boundaries clear. Although you may grow close, you will never be the child's peer. Your primary relationship is with the parent.
  • Obviously, you need to avoid any hint of flirtatiousness or sexual innuendo.

Comments

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nei-g420 said

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on 7/31/2007 My Mamas a lesbien and I hate it! I don't agree but I do respect her disision. If you love somebody you just want them to be happy. She's happy so I am. I don't really like her girlfreind but i'ma 10th grade drop out n' she's an English teacher. It's very uncomfortable for the me as I imagine it is witany other kid and I don't think it's right at all. Kids in school used to make fun of me for it and I told them "at least my mom don't suck dick".

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