How To

How to Relate to Your Partner's Children

Contributor
By eHow Contributing Writer
(4 Ratings)

It can be awkward getting to know a new partner's grown children, especially if you aren't used to young people to begin with. Keeping a few basic principles in mind can help things go more smoothly.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Instructions
  1. Step 1

    Understand that nervousness is completely normal for all of you. Try to relax.

  2. Step 2

    Be friendly but not overly friendly. Your partner's children have lives of their own and want to keep it that way. Treat them like the adults they are.

  3. Step 3

    Recognize that they may be jealous of you at first. After all, they share a strong bond with their parents and may feel threatened by your presence in their lives.

  4. Step 4

    Stay somewhat detached. At the best of times, children and parents have complicated relationships. Don't get too involved in their problems or issues.

  5. Step 5

    Respect your partner's relationship with the children, whether you agree with it or not.

  6. Step 6

    Be discreet. Discussing the children with your partner can be tricky, and if a child trusts you enough to confide in you, the reverse will also hold true.

  7. Step 7

    Be yourself. Nobody likes a phony.

Tips & Warnings
  • As with getting to know anyone, showing a genuine interest in the children will make your relationship more satisfying for all of you. The children may indeed become new friends.
  • It's important to keep your boundaries clear. Although you may grow close, you will never be the child's peer. Your primary relationship is with the parent.
  • Obviously, you need to avoid any hint of flirtatiousness or sexual innuendo.

Comments  

nei-g420 said

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on 7/31/2007 My Mamas a lesbien and I hate it! I don't agree but I do respect her disision. If you love somebody you just want them to be happy. She's happy so I am. I don't really like her girlfreind but i'ma 10th grade drop out n' she's an English teacher. It's very uncomfortable for the me as I imagine it is witany other kid and I don't think it's right at all. Kids in school used to make fun of me for it and I told them "at least my mom don't suck dick".

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