How to Relate to Your Partner's Children

It can be awkward getting to know a new partner's grown children, especially if you aren't used to young people to begin with. Keeping a few basic principles in mind can help things go more smoothly.

Instructions

1. Understand that nervousness is completely normal for all of you. Try to relax.

2. Be friendly but not overly friendly. Your partner's children have lives of their own and want to keep it that way. Treat them like the adults they are.

3. Recognize that they may be jealous of you at first. After all, they share a strong bond with their parents and may feel threatened by your presence in their lives.

4. Stay somewhat detached. At the best of times, children and parents have complicated relationships. Don't get too involved in their problems or issues.

5. Respect your partner's relationship with the children, whether you agree with it or not.

6. Be discreet. Discussing the children with your partner can be tricky, and if a child trusts you enough to confide in you, the reverse will also hold true.

7. Be yourself. Nobody likes a phony.

Tips & Warnings

• As with getting to know anyone, showing a genuine interest in the children will make your relationship more satisfying for all of you. The children may indeed become new friends.

• It's important to keep your boundaries clear. Although you may grow close, you will never be the child's peer. Your primary relationship is with the parent.

• Obviously, you need to avoid any hint of flirtatiousness or sexual innuendo.