How to Know Who to Include in a Wedding Shower

By eHow Weddings Editor

Rate: (2 Ratings)

In traditional showers of old, only female relatives of the bride and groom and the closest friends of the bride were invited. Nowadays, the guest list can include men, couples or even colleagues from the office.

Flag Article

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

Wedding Shower Invitations
Bridal Registries
Wedding Guest Lists
Candles
Fresh-cut Flowers
Champagne
Sparkling Cider
Champagne Glasses
Champagne Buckets
Postage Stamps
Personal Organizers

Step1

Always get input from the bride regarding the guest list for the shower, no matter what kind of shower you are planning.

Step2

Invite the bride's and groom's mothers, any other female relatives, bridal attendants and close friends of the bride to a traditional shower.

Step3

Include co-workers as directed by the bride. Remember that the bride's other friends might not know her co-workers, so make an effort to see that they are introduced and feel included.

Step4

Consider a couples shower if the bride and groom socialize regularly with a lot of other couples. See "How to Host a Couples Wedding Shower" in the Related eHows for ideas about couples showers.

Step5

Invite all of the bride's co-workers, but not necessarily relatives or close friends, if you are throwing a shower at work. See "How to Host a Work-Related Wedding Shower" the in Related eHows for ideas.

Step6

Avoid being limited by convention. These days, you are free to compose an eclectic guest list - with the bride's approval, of course.

Tips & Warnings

Tradition says that all shower guests should also be invited to the wedding. Since the wedding guest list is generally made before the shower takes place, work with the bride to create the shower guest list.
A comfortable shower generally involves 10 to 20 people. This number gives everyone a chance to interact with everyone else, as well as with the bride, and keeps details manageable for the hostess.
If the bride is having more than one shower, you might want to make sure that each guest is invited to only one or two. Buying multiple shower gifts may be a hardship for some people.
If the bride's parents are divorced and her mother and stepmother can't stand the sight of each other, you'll have problems at the shower. Let the bride assess these sorts of situations and come up with the best solution before you send the invitations.
Avoid inviting young children unless the bride has a daughter or younger sister who would enjoy the festivities.

Comments

Anonymous said

Flag This Comment

on 7/18/2006 Here's a tip: The bridal shower is not about the mothers. It's about the bride. So if you don't get introduced, fed second, or receive any other special treatment, take into consideration the fact that the shower isn't supposed to revolve around you.

Also, don't expect to be invited to the shower if you live out of state. Let the bride know ahead of time that you're willing to make the trip so she doesn't feel awkward asking you to.

Anonymous said

Flag This Comment

on 6/30/2006 I just learned that my future daughter-in-law had her bridal shower yesterday. Not only was I not invited, but the groom's sister (who is also one of the attendants) also wasn't invited. Although we don't live in the same state as the bride, my daughter and I would have enjoyed participating in this special occasion via long distance. So to whomever is in charge of the shower, make sure to invite the groom's mother and any sisters the groom has, especially if they are one of the bridesmaids!

Anonymous said

Flag This Comment

on 11/22/2005 If you introduce the bride's mom at the shower, introduce the groom's mom, too. I am the groom's mom, and I was ignored.

If the bride's mother's table was served second after the bride's, be sure the mother of the groom's table is served afterward. Actions speak loudly.

If you are not having drinks supplied, let the mother of the groom know this, so she can inform members of his family as well. Perhaps the bride and her mother shouldn't plan mean little things to do to his mom. They have a way of backfiring on you.

Anonymous said

Flag This Comment

on 11/22/2005 I went to my future daughter-in-laws bridal shower and I was not introduced to anyone. Neither the brides mother nor the bride introduced me around. I'm not sure who had this, maybe the person having the shower? I don't know, but I personally couldn't wait to get out of there. I was embarrassed and very hurt over the whole affair. I didn't know what to do. I didn't feel it was my job to go from table to table and say "Guess what, I'm the groom's Mom." Please, whomever is giving a bridal shower please introduce the Mom's. The groom's Mom is just as important as the bride's Mom.

View All