How to Celebrate Mother's Day as a Stepmother

Remember that your stepchildren might feel torn between you and their mom on Mother's Day. Be the adult and help them feel comfortable with whatever decisions they make.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Avoid planning to spend the day with your stepchildren if their mother is available on this day. If for some reason they are unable to see her, help them call her or send her a special message.

2. Encourage them to spend time with their mom and help them select gifts and make crafts for her in advance.

3. Hold back any signs of jealousy or anger - save these feelings for a lunch with your friends, who can help you get perspective.

4. Don't expect any gifts or cards from your stepchildren on this day. If they do surprise you with a gift, thank them and let them know how much the gesture means to you.

5. Focus on your own mom or become involved in a community activity. Senior citizen centers and nursing homes often have special celebrations on Mother's Day. Celebrate the day by helping out.

6. Suppress any bad feelings you have toward your stepchildren's mom and try to be pleasant or at least civil to her if you see her.

7. Remember that as a stepmom, you are special, too. You care for your stepchildren and act as a mother toward them. Reward yourself on Mother's Day for your own mothering achievements.

8. Take a bubble bath while the kids are away or do something else just for yourself.

[grrlypainter]

on 5/10/2008 I disagree with this article. Step-Mothers have a very difficult job. No they are not Mothers, They are Step Mothers and that can be a trying experience. Step Mothers are put in awful situations all of the time by adults and children. It can be very hard, and at the same time they still put the children first and foremost. They do this even though it is not their own children! All step-Parents should be acknoledged and recognized in their own day. In my family we celebrate Step-Mothers Day it is it's own Day and is equally as important as Mothers Day. The official Step-Mothers Day is the Sunday after Mothers Day as declared by George Bush. I think families with Step-Moms should be celebrating That day too!

[msophelia]

on 5/5/2008 i would love to know if the person who wrote this list is even a step-parent. writing a list that essentially says 'stay out of the way'? not helpful.

[shoemia]

on 5/6/2007 Forget Mother's Day! Instead, celebrate your own holiday. Luckily for me, my husband has always made me a priority in his life AND in his children's lives. Long ago, he and his children decided that in lieu of celebrating my contributions on Mother's Day, they would create a special holiday just for me. In our home, "Stepmom Day" is always the Monday following Father's Day. It's become a big 2-day family tradition. Weeks in advance, I secretly arrange with my stepchildren all sorts of treats and surprises for their Dad to enjoy on Sunday, and he secretly arranges with them the same for me - For him, breakfast in bed, gifts, "golf with Dad," and dinner at his favorite restaurant - For me, homemade cards and flowers, a day of my favorite food and activities, etc... The kids get so excited planning everything, and we always have a blast!!!

on 11/22/2005 Your stepkids may not remember you on Mother's Day. But if it's important to you, ask your husband to recognize your parenting of his children with a card, gift or other gesture on Mother's Day.