How to Find a Jewish Mate

It can be a real challenge to find a compatible partner who also shares your religious beliefs, but if finding a Jewish mate is important to you, there are lots of resources to help you in the search for your "beshert."

Difficulty: Moderately challenging

Instructions

1. Decide what level of Jewish observance you are looking for in a mate. Do you belong to a Reform congregation? Conservative? Orthodox? Do you follow a strict kosher diet, or do you eat nonkosher foods?

2. Realize that all of these issues will come up early in a relationship, so it's a good idea to make decisions and set boundaries early on.

3. Get involved with your local congregation. Attend Sabbath services, High Holy Days and social events, and get to know other members of the community who share similar interests and backgrounds.

4. Join your local Jewish community center. There may be courses or lecture series you can sign up for, dances to attend, and perhaps even a gym or pool where you can work out.

5. Look for the perfect mate online. There are many online services for Jewish singles, many of which are searchable by location. You could find a mate in your own city, or maybe even dare to begin a long-distance relationship.

6. Place a personal ad in your local newspaper, making it clear that you're searching for a Jewish mate. The abbreviations SJM and SJF stand for "single Jewish male" and "single Jewish female." Your local Jewish community may publish its own newspaper or magazine, so find out if it contains a personals section.

7. Hire a matchmaker, or "yenta." This may sound old-fashioned, but arranged marriages are still very much a part of Jewish life for many people. Don't worry ' there's no obligation to marry someone if it turns out you're not interested.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember that events specifically targeted at Jewish singles aren't the only places to meet a prospective partner. You might just as easily meet the spouse of your dreams at a dinner party, cultural event or basketball game. Participating in the activities you love is often the best way to meet others who share your interests and passions.
• Don't forget to consider your personal safety. When meeting someone for the first time, meet in a neutral location such as a café, and be sure to let a friend or relative know where you're going and when you're likely to return.
• When searching for a partner through online dating or matchmaking services, make sure your privacy is protected and information such as your home address or telephone number is not given out without your consent.

on 11/22/2005 You might find it helpful to try not playing it by ear. A lot of people like to play relationships by ear. I personally did not find that approach helpful. I didn't meet my husband until after I decided that I would be ready to start doing wedding planning within the next 12 months.

on 11/22/2005 JDate.com is a great resource for jewish singles. Give it a try and good luck!