How to Repel the Hotties on the Beach - For Him
"When you get a wetsuit rash on your neck, you're bound to have someone accuse you of having a hickey. It's pretty embarrassing and totally unattractive." - Timmy Reyes, O'Neill Surf Team rider
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Instructions
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Start bodyboarding and roller-skating.
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Tell the hotties about your summer chemistry club.
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Throw out your surf trunks and go with a pair of revealing Dolphin shorts.
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Dance and sing to Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and that other blonde girl who looks and sounds exactly like them.
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Wear lots of colored zinc oxide as sunscreen. The more colors and stripes, the better.
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Get rescued by the lifeguards regularly and do it right in front of the hotties.
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Use an old wetsuit that gives you a neck rash that's easily mistaken for a hickey.
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8
Quit surfing and start eating and drinking a lot.
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Tips & Warnings
"Last summer the water stayed so cold for so long that everyone had the worst full-suit tans well into July. When your face, neck and hands are tan but the rest of your body is pale, it's a funny sight." - Timmy Reyes, O'Neill Surf Team rider
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Comments
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Nov 22, 2005
Tell the hotties about your chemistry degree/job, but leave out the part about salary. -
Nov 22, 2005
Be a nerd. Dress, act, and look like a dork.
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Nov 22, 2005
Tell the hotties about your chemistry degree/job, but leave out the part about salary.
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Nov 22, 2005
Be a nerd. Dress, act, and look like a dork.
