How to Repel the Hotties on the Beach - For Him

"When you get a wetsuit rash on your neck, you're bound to have someone accuse you of having a hickey. It's pretty embarrassing and totally unattractive." - Timmy Reyes, O'Neill Surf Team rider

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Bodyboards
• Roller Skates
• Surfing Wet Suits

1. Start bodyboarding and roller-skating.

2. Tell the hotties about your summer chemistry club.

3. Throw out your surf trunks and go with a pair of revealing Dolphin shorts.

4. Dance and sing to Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and that other blonde girl who looks and sounds exactly like them.

5. Wear lots of colored zinc oxide as sunscreen. The more colors and stripes, the better.

6. Get rescued by the lifeguards regularly and do it right in front of the hotties.

7. Use an old wetsuit that gives you a neck rash that's easily mistaken for a hickey.

8. Quit surfing and start eating and drinking a lot.

Tips & Warnings

• "Last summer the water stayed so cold for so long that everyone had the worst full-suit tans well into July. When your face, neck and hands are tan but the rest of your body is pale, it's a funny sight." - Timmy Reyes, O'Neill Surf Team rider

Who Can Help Sponsored

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on 11/22/2005 Put fake hair all over your back. :-D

on 11/22/2005 Tell the hotties about your chemistry degree/job, but leave out the part about salary.

on 11/22/2005 Be a nerd. Dress, act, and look like a dork.