How to Plan a Shower

Expectations abound! Whether it's an imminent wedding or a baby who's due, showering your loved one with congratulations and gifts is an honor and a delight. And now that showers for couples are gaining in popularity, you fellows aren't getting off the hook.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Determine if your friend actually wants a shower. If it's a second marriage, a couple may want to forgo the party. Parents-to-be may not want a baby shower until after the bundle of joy arrives.
2. Consult with your friend to see what showers are planned. Oftentimes multiple showers are given, and you don't want to duplicate themes and/or gifts. If more than one shower is planned, avoid overlapping the guest lists--although family members can certainly be invited to more than one shower.
3. Enlist the help of anyone who shows interest in planning the shower and has the time, or choose a co-host. A shower can be a daunting--and occasionally expensive--task to undertake alone.
4. Pick a date as far in advance as possible to accommodate faraway invitees. If guests are mostly local, shorter notice is fine.
5. Set the budget and come to an agreement with your co-hosts about how to divvy up costs. If funds are limited, hold a cozy shower at the host's home. Deeper pockets can consider hosting the event at a hall or restaurant--even a spa or resort. See 226 Set Up a Budget.
6. Brainstorm theme ideas, keeping in mind the honoree's preferences. If she hates spicy food, for instance, you certainly don't want to hold her shower in a Thai restaurant. How about an afternoon tea party? Be creative. Decide whether to make the shower a surprise or not. If it's not, ask the guest(s) of honor for input on their preferences.
7. Prepare the guest list. Mail the invitations. Include registry information and request RSVPs a few weeks before the event.
8. Decide on the menu. If you're holding the shower at a restaurant, this will be easy. If it is a home shower, decide whether you want to cater the affair, cook yourself or go potluck. Keep any special food preferences in mind. See 342 Throw a Party.
9. Plan the entertainment. Will you play games, provide live music or play CDs in the background? Make sure the guest of honor wants to play games before you arrange any.
10. Confirm all reservations and RSVPs a week before the shower. Buy food and decorations and begin cooking anything that you can prepare in advance and freeze (see 315 Plan Party Foods Ahead). The day before the shower, pick up and arrange the flowers, set the tables and address any other final details.

Tips & Warnings

• Ask the guest if he or she would like to open the gifts in front of the guests or later. Pick someone to write a list of gifts and givers if they are to be opened at the event.
• Decide whether to make the shower a girls-only event or a coed affair. While coed showers are very trendy, a traditional bride or mom-tobe may want to go with a female-only fling.
• Counter with a mens-only shower to fe^te the new father. Forget pastels-- serve up steaks, deli platters and beer.
• Traditionally everyone who is invited to the wedding should also be invited to a bridal shower; a baby shower list is less formal.

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