How to Throw a Dinner Party

Do you lie awake the night before a dinner party fraught with anxiety? What if they don't come? What if the food is lousy? What if they have a horrible time? Quell those misgivings with a streamlined plan.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Party basics

1. Choose a cause for celebration. It will set the tone and anchor all the elements of your party. See 342 Throw a Party for more tips.
2. Select a date. Make it easy on yourself and pick a day and date that gives you enough time to prepare without being rushed.
3. Choose a style--an informal gathering with a few friends, a backyard picnic for the team, a low-key cocktail party for 20 or an elegant fund raising dinner for 50. The reason for the party and its style provides the structure for all other components to hang on.
4. Compile the guest list and send out invitations. Casual affairs need a few days to a week's advance notice by phone or e-mail, while written invitations to formal dinners might be mailed a full month ahead.
5. Create the desired ambience. Whether it's simple candlelight or more ornate decorations, everything from your table settings and decorations to the menu and music will set the tone.

One week ahead

6. Create the menu. Instead of immediately searching cookbooks for recipes, begin by thinking about what flavors, tastes, textures, colors and sensations would complement each other. Visit a farmers' market and taste what's fresh, in season and delicious. Keep balance in mind: If you're having cheese tortellini, don't serve cheesecake for dessert and overload on dairy and heavy creamy textures. And last, be realistic about how much time you have to prepare before choosing your recipes. See 301 Plan Theme Menus, 315 Plan Party Foods Ahead and 303 Cook Ahead.
7. Start thinking about how you'll arrange seating (see 320 Plan Dinner Party Seating).
8. Hire help or rent supplies from a party rental store. Consider getting extra plates or silverware, bar glasses and linens, as well as serving help, a caterer and a housekeeper to clean up after. See 331 Hire a Caterer and 336 Hire a Bartender.

Two days ahead

9. Polish the silver, wash the stemware and iron the tablecloths. When you set the table, pay attention to details. Arrange flowers in dramatic side-table displays or individual vases at each place setting. Tuck a sprig of lavender into crisp, cloth napkins; float candles in a bowl of water; craft simple but classy name cards. Centerpieces can be anything from a simple bowl of lemons to a beautiful floral arrangement (see 103 Decorate for the Seasons).
10. Select dinner music that enhances your ambience and is well matched to the menu.
11. Choose wine for the meal. Go to Wine.com for tips about pairing wines with foods. One type of red and one white will suffice. Figure two to three glasses per person when estimating how much to buy--one bottle holds roughly four glasses. See 93 Organize Your Wine Collection.

Party time!

12. Mastermind the mingling. Create conversation corners in your cocktail area. Instead of one marooned chair, think huddles of chairs. Seat guests with similar interests next to each other.
13. Enjoy yourself. Have fun and relax--it will be infectious and will set your guests at ease.
14. Pay attention to cues that the party is wrapping up, including ignored wineglasses, yawns and nervous comments about babysitters. Graciously thank your guests for coming and help them gather their things.
15. To get people moving out the door, drop subtle hints ("Does anyone need a last cup of coffee?"). If all else fails, start clearing up glasses and dishes.
16. Celebrate sweet success. Once you've done a load of dishes, kick off your shoes, settle back with a last glass of wine, and enjoy rehashing with your spouse or co-host.

Tips & Warnings

• Prevent logjams by setting up the bar away from the buffet table.
• Get out the platters or dishes you'll use to serve the food. Label them with sticky notes so you're sure you have enough serving dishes for everything on the menu.
• Remember--you want your guests to be relaxed and have a great time. Cue the mood by relaxing and enjoying yourself, too.
• A manageable dinner party size is 6 to 12 guests. Consider how many can sit at your table without bumping elbows.
• To remove red wine stains, blot up as much as possible with an absorbent cloth. Saturate the stain with club soda. Later, apply a paste of three parts baking soda to one part water. Let dry, then vacuum.
• Do your shopping three to four days in advance, except for vegetables, fresh fish and flowers.
• Consider shopping online for your groceries, flowers and wine--many food delivery sites sell all three. See 299 Set Up Online Grocery Shopping.

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