How to Make Child Custody Arrangements

Children are the most valuable assets in any divorce, and unlike other
assets, they cannot be split up and divided. Once, courts automatically
gave custody to the mother with visitation rights for the father. Then
joint custody was all the rage. The latest legal trend gives primary
custody to the parent who's been the primary caretaker. If you want
custody, consider these steps.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Be an active participant in your child's life. Courts often consider how much time you spend with your child when they award custody or visitation rights.

2. Keep custody disputes out of court if at all possible. Attempt to work things out with your spouse first.

3. Make a parenting agreement. Nail down as many details as possible to minimize future disputes, including holidays, communication, weekly and summer schedules, pickups and drop-offs, education, religion and medical care.

4. Consider mediation if you can't agree on a custody plan.

5. Never leave the family home and your child if you plan to ask for custody. Possession really is nine-tenths of the law.

6. Avoid disparaging your spouse to your children. Not only does this hurt them, but it could hurt your case in court. Judges often consider whether you are providing a positive situation.

7. Do not prevent the kids from seeing your spouse unless you're ready and able to prove that he or she is an unfit parent. This could result in the kids being taken away from you.

8. If you have a new "friend," keep him or her out of the picture for now. You don't want jealousy affecting your ex's judgment or good will or muddying up the custody waters with the judge.

9. Do not move in with your new lover. Cohabitation will negatively affect your financial settlement and your kids.

10. Commit to providing a stable, loving environment. Your children need your undivided attention and predictability right now.

11. Stick to the schedule that you and your spouse have worked out and avoid asking for changes.

12. Realize that custody agreements can always be changed later as circumstances change. Just do the best you can for your children today.

Tips & Warnings

• Always consult a lawyer in custody cases. You want expert advice here.
• If you ever feel that you or your child is in danger, get help immediately.
• If you get joint custody, realize that your ability to move out of state (or even to the next town) may be jeopardized.
• Substance abuse, emotional or physical abuse, or abandonment will jeopardize your chances of seeing your child.

[butterflybleu]

on 1/15/2009 mrscocagne,
petition for a paternity test if you seek custody

[mrscocagne]

on 6/24/2008 Well I have a question what do you do if the man that has been taking care of your kids is not the real father . And you want to take him back to court what do you do ?