How to Prepare for Your Child's Departure for College

First of all, pat yourself on the back: The fact that you're preparing for this monumental occasion means you've done a spectacular parenting job. The work isn't over, but you and your child can move into the transition phase with confidence.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Getting your child ready

1. Train your child to handle his or her own laundry well before school starts. The first week of classes is not the time to find out what a red sock does to white shirts, and that you need to take the clothes out of the dryer when they're done so they don't end up all wrinkled.
2. Get your child used to waking up to an alarm without help. He or she needs to develop this skill on their own.
3. Have an open discussion about how you'll handle money and budgeting. By this point, your child should have developed some good money-management skills (see 248 Teach Your Kids About Money and 226 Set Up a Budget). Open a checking account at a branch near campus and discuss how much money you'll put in every month, if any, and what it needs to pay for. Get a prepaid credit card that can't be used if the bearer taps out the balance.
4. Do some advance problem-solving with your child about the roommate situation. Lots of kids talk on the phone or send e-mail to their new roomie before they get to school--but there's no way they can know about each other's lifestyle and habits. Talk about what to do when conflicts crop up. You might encourage your child to bring it up ahead of time: "How do you want to handle it if we have a problem?"
5. Pick up a course catalog (or find one online) to look over with your child. Get an idea of what lies ahead and talk about how to plan the first semester's course load so it's not too hard. See 153 Plan Your Course of Study in College.
6. Help your child sort out transportation on campus. Bikes are key to campus life in most locations--consider buying a clunker (and a lock) to deter thieves. Ask about bike storage facilities.
7. Recommend that your child find out where the student health center is and what services are available (including birth control) before he or she needs them. Keep in mind, it might be a friend or roommate who needs the help.

Care and feeding of your freshman

8. Be conscious about your next phase in parenting. While phone calls help, the absence of day-to-day contact is a huge change.
9. Expect some friction when your child is home during breaks. She has been living on her own terms, free to come and go, sleep and eat exactly as she wishes. Coming back home means having to ask for the car, eating with the family and not receiving phone calls at all hours. Recognize that both of you are going through a new phase and keep talking. Come to a compromise regarding late nights out and other potential conflicts.

Tips & Warnings

• Check your health insurance policy to make sure your child is covered.
• Suggest that your child talk with his or her roommate about who will bring a microwave, refrigerator and television.
• Get the new roommate's cellular-phone number.
• Regularly go over your child's bank statements in the first year and discuss expenses to make sure both student loans and your financial contributions are adequate. Make adjustments accordingly.
• Duke University freshmen receive a free Apple iPod, loaded with a campus map, orientation information, schedules and recorded lectures.
• Talk about how you will stay in touch with each other. Will you set up a weekly phone call? E-mail frequently?