How to Foster a Child

Foster homes provide at-risk children a temporary, safe place to live
until they can be reunited with their families or, in some cases, placed
permanently with adoptive families. Some children stay in foster care
for days or weeks; some stay for years. Fostering a child is important,
difficult and selfless work for little glory and less money. Those who
take it on know that every day spent in their care, that child is getting
a dose of consistency and love he or she wouldn't otherwise have.

Instructions

Before you begin

1. Talk to other foster parents in order to get the lay of the land. Evaluate your situation and desire to parent honestly, especially if you have other kids. The rewards of foster parenting come from watching kids blossom in a household of love and consistent expectations, but it is hard work.

2. Understand the logistical facts of foster care. You will have more appointments than you ever dreamed possible: several visits a week by social workers--sometimes daily, supervised visits to the child's mother or father (or both); and trips to court and to the doctor, psychologist or occupational therapist.

3. Know who the players are. The county often subcontracts out foster care to private agencies who place the kids with families. Check out these agencies' credentials. Ask questions about their track record (is there a pattern of children being removed from care?) and their relationship with your county's department of health and human services.

4. Become a foster parent with the intention of adopting a child (fost-adopt), but carry no illusions that it will be an easy process. Have a candid conversation with the county and ask how long a wait you'll have before an eligible child is placed with you.

Navigating the application process

1. Call the department of health and human services in your county. Get guidelines for becoming a foster parent from the county, not from one of the outside agencies. The county will give you a list of the agencies it works with.

2. Fill in the application with your personal and medical history, and personal and professional references. Indicate the age and type of child (race, gender, language, special needs) you will accept.

3. Schedule an appointment for a required home study and visit by a social worker. You'll typically have three visits: one to inspect the home itself to see that it is safe and suitable, the other two to investigate your psychological background, check that applicants are mentally healthy, complete more paperwork and so on.

4. Complete 15 to 30 hours of required training in foster parenting skills. Regulations vary by state and agency.

5. Receive your foster parent certification or license.

Preparing your home and family

1. Assess if you are ready to become a foster parent. You will be interviewed by a counselor regarding your own childhood experiences and your family relations. Foster parents can be single, married, divorced or separated, and in some states or counties gay and lesbian.

2. Ask the county for its home-inspection regulations and bring your house up to code before the inspection takes place. Make sure your house is childproof and free of hazards. See 73 Make Your Home Safe for Small Children.

3. Buy any special materials needed for the child (bottles for babies, books for school-age kids). See 254 Prepare for a New Baby and 260 Organize Your Life as a New Parent if your foster child is an infant or young child.

4. Create a room or other special place that your foster child can call his or her own. Start with a cozy bed and a private space for clothes and toys.

5. Enroll school-age children in school.

6. Prepare your children for the arrival of a new foster child. Make sure they understand that this will be his or her home, too, in the days, months, even years ahead. See 264 Blend Families for more tips.

7. Gather the entire family together to welcome your foster child to his or her new home.

Tips & Warnings

• All adults in your home will be fingerprinted for a criminal background check.

• Regulations vary from agency to agency. Typically, the child may not share a bedroom with any individual over age 18, and adults cannot move out of their room and onto the couch to make room for a foster child.

• Every effort is made by the courts to reunify children with their parents. Before foster children are eligible for adoption, parental rights must be terminated. And biological parents have enormous leeway and a long time to prove themselves fit. It is possible to adopt a foster child, but it's important to be realistic about your chances.

• Set up a separate file just for the foster child's paperwork. Keep his or her social worker's and doctor's phone numbers handy in case of emergency. See 185 Create a Flawless Filing System.

• If you can't keep records or are disorganized, don't even consider foster parenting. Filing is a huge part of it.