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How to Know if You Love Her

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By eHow Contributing Writer
(77 Ratings)
How to Know if You Love Her
How to Know if You Love Her

Knowing if you love her involves some serious soul searching. In order to love someone else, you must first love yourself.

Difficulty: Moderate
Instructions
  1. Step 1

    Clarify what love is for you. Write down all your thoughts and feelings about what a loving relationship would be like for you.

  2. Step 2

    Distinguish between love and lust or infatuation. Lust is an intense sexual desire. Infatuation refers to the initial stage of a relationship, when you are "crazy" about her, but this feeling usually fades over time.

  3. Step 3

    Ask other people how they define love or know if they love someone.

  4. Step 4

    Write down how you do feel about her. For example: you enjoy her company, have similar interests, feel safe, trust her, think she is attractive, etc.

  5. Step 5

    Think about how well the two of you relate to each other. For example: How well do you communicate with each other? How do you deal with conflict? Do you bring out good or bad parts of each other? Can you show different sides of yourself?

  6. Step 6

    Ask yourself if you see and accept her as a whole person. Love isn't just loving the parts of her you like, but choosing to love her overall.

Tips & Warnings
  • The infatuation phase of a relationship typically lasts about six months. You may think you are in love and she is perfect for you. It often takes more time to tell if you are truly compatible and whether you can really love the whole person, good and bad.
  • Read The Art of Loving and other books about love. Wise people have been writing about it for hundreds of years. In our bookstore, look under psychology, spirituality or philosophy.

Comments  

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on 11/20/2008 www.perfectlypaired.com will have a test launch on Monday, November 24th, 2008. www.Perfectlypaired.com will be coming out between Thanksgiving and XMAS and will offer singles the opportunity to prepare to be perfectly paired. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for the past 15 years it is no secret that dating sites are not the perfect solution to finding an "ideal partner". The real secret is in Self Discovery, Identifying criteria, Revealing your Wants & Needs and Uncovering ways to Improve your Relationships. www.perfectlypaired.com will offer all of those options to finding your "Ideal Partner". If you would like to be part of the test launch, please email: www.mail@southocwellness.com.

pezzus said

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on 7/20/2008 I think you love when you dont need to change her for you to feel in love. You dont love her because she is smart, beautiful or for any other reason. You just love her because of her. Like a father for a daughter or a son for his mum. She can do anything, you still will love her. She is part of you, it is your own soul. You need her to be complete. Its like your twin sister. You are not jealous. You love her and dont expect anything in return.

amandaford said

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on 2/1/2008 Hi Everyone,

The eHow Experts are building a discussion surrounding around Valentine's Day in the eHow forums. If anyone needs some relationship tips or maybe just need a general Valentine's day question answered, feel free to join in the discussion at this URL:

http://www.ehow.com/community/forums/topic_33827_valentine’s-day:-in-love?-broken-hearted?-alone?-how-do-you-deal?.aspx

Thanks,
The eHow Experts

josie said

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on 8/16/2007 You need to listen very carefully. People around her,situations ,(is like a tug and war game )are trying to pull her away from you
Even if she has to give up what she wants to do with her life to be with you she will follow you until eterni

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on 6/10/2007 Love is tricky- Love hasn't been around forever. The feeling wasn't really 'established,' one might say, until the late Middle Ages. The concept is still new to all of humanity so no on can really say for sure that "I know what love is." If you ask certain people however, myself included, they might tell you that love is the intangable. It is the mysterious nature of the human pshyce to bond with another individual in ways you don't or can't bond with anyone else. If you wanna know if you love her/him, look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how you'd feel if they were gone. Ask if their happiness is more important than your own. Things that will require you to look deep within yourself as a person to develop a true understanding of love and the human heart. If and when you can see that you do indeed love her/him, heed my advice when I say that you should tell them soon.

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