How to Help Someone Diagnosed With Cancer

No two people who get cancer ever react identically, nor do their family and friends. Each person must be allowed to cope with cancer in his own way. Your role should be to support the person in whatever way necessary.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Medical Reference Books
• Computers

1. Lighten a cancer patient's emotional burden by just being there.

2. Avoid the "everything will be all right" attitude. He understands that everything may not turn out all right, and false cheeriness is not what is needed.

3. Emphasize any "good news" portions of the diagnosis. It's OK to dwell on a positive test result, or a promising treatment option mentioned by the doctor.

4. Prepare to change roles, or play new ones. If a husband has been diagnosed with cancer, he may not be up to continuing all of his usual duties. Allow him to be vulnerable, and not always feel the need to be in control and strong.

5. Be a patient's advocate, if he so desires. Do research about the cancer, scout out cancer specialists, learn everything there is to know about the type of cancer he has and its treatments.

6. Access your local library for medical reference books. Go online, searching sites such as Johns Hopkins Medical Center, the Cleveland Clinic and the Mayo Clinic.

7. Write down his questions and bring them to the attention of the oncologist at the next appointment.

8. Help with the mundane, everyday tasks of life. Meals and evenings can be especially lonely and anxiety-provoking. Be there to wash dishes, sort laundry, and help pay bills.

9. Know when to seek extra help. Sometimes your presence and support won't be enough. You may want to ask the patient's minister or rabbi, the hospital's social worker, or a cancer survivor to stop by the home and offer counsel.

Tips & Warnings

• Knowledge is power. If the doctor is too busy, ask a nurse. The nurse has constant access to the doctor, and will be sure to follow up with your questions and concerns.
• For a comprehensive list of cancer specialists, treatment options and current clinical trials, call the National Cancer Institute at (800) 4-CANCER.
• Consider buying a computer with Internet access, if he or she doesn't already have one. Besides the many cancer information sites, there are many diversions for a patient's worried mind.
• This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment.

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on 4/29/2009 These are good tips for caregivers.

on 11/22/2005 Contact the American Cancer Society, even if you're not in the US. They'll direct you to all the resources that the patients, caregivers, and supporters of both, need. Maybe there's nothing you can do for your patient, but someone else may need you. You can honor your patient by helping others.

www.cancer.org.