How to Prevent a Toddler's Temper Tantrum

Throwing a temper tantrum is a natural way for a young child to experiment with feelings and gain independence and control of little bodies. However, there are some things parents can do to prevent tantrums and help the young child learn to control emotions.

Difficulty:

Challenging

Instructions

1. Set a good example. If you act aggressively when you are frustrated or angry, it is only natural for your child to react the same way when frustrated or angry. Try to remain calm and neutral in voice and posture when dealing with tantrums or other frustrating situations. Remind your child in a friendly noncritical voice what response is appropriate instead of the outburst.

2. Observe your child. If you see a tantrum coming on, go and sit near your child. Ask whether something is bothering your child and/or if you can help in some way. Helping your child learn to work through a problem is a valuable lesson.

3. Establish good eating and sleeping routines. Tantrums are sometimes brought on by hunger or fatigue. Planning meals and snacks at about the same time each day will help curb the hunger outbursts. Create bedtime routines for naps and night sleeping. Try to follow the same routine at about the same time each day.

4. Offer choices. If your child presses you on every issue from getting dressed to taking a bath, try involving your child in decision making. Say things like, "Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt? Do you want a peanut butter or a cheese sandwich? Would you like me to leave the door open or closed while you sleep?" You choose the choices, but your child still feels in control of the situation.

5. Prepare quiet and active times for your child. If you notice your child has been actively frolicking around the house, offer to sit quietly and read a story or build with some blocks. If your child has been cooped up in the house for some time, play an active game indoors with bouncy balls or try to go outside.

6. Warn your child of a change in activity. Before you pack up the toys or get up to leave play group, give your child a 3- to 5-minute warning. Say things like, "We will be leaving in 5 minutes. It is almost time to say, 'Goodbye.' We will be cleaning up blocks in 2 minutes. After we clean up blocks, we will have a snack."

7. Decrease the demands on your child. Limit the restrictions you have on your child's activity. Anger and resistance are natural reactions to strict limitations on a child's movement or creativity.

Tips & Warnings

• Try distracting your child with a favorite game or activity.

• Set an egg timer and tell your child the activity will end or begin when it goes off.

• If tantrums occur in public, remove your child to an isolated area and let the tantrum pass. Trying to stop a tantrum with force or shame will only make it worse.

• Consult a professional family doctor if you experience extreme frustration or anger when disciplining your child.