How to Prevent a Toddler's Temper Tantrum

Throwing a temper tantrum is a natural way for a young child to experiment with feelings and gain independence and control of little bodies. However, there are some things parents can do to prevent tantrums and help the young child learn to control emotions.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Set a good example. If you act aggressively when you are frustrated or angry, it is only natural for your child to react the same way when frustrated or angry. Try to remain calm and neutral in voice and posture when dealing with tantrums or other frustrating situations. Remind your child in a friendly noncritical voice what response is appropriate instead of the outburst.

2. Observe your child. If you see a tantrum coming on, go and sit near your child. Ask whether something is bothering your child and/or if you can help in some way. Helping your child learn to work through a problem is a valuable lesson.

3. Establish good eating and sleeping routines. Tantrums are sometimes brought on by hunger or fatigue. Planning meals and snacks at about the same time each day will help curb the hunger outbursts. Create bedtime routines for naps and night sleeping. Try to follow the same routine at about the same time each day.

4. Offer choices. If your child presses you on every issue from getting dressed to taking a bath, try involving your child in decision making. Say things like, "Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt? Do you want a peanut butter or a cheese sandwich? Would you like me to leave the door open or closed while you sleep?" You choose the choices, but your child still feels in control of the situation.

5. Prepare quiet and active times for your child. If you notice your child has been actively frolicking around the house, offer to sit quietly and read a story or build with some blocks. If your child has been cooped up in the house for some time, play an active game indoors with bouncy balls or try to go outside.

6. Warn your child of a change in activity. Before you pack up the toys or get up to leave play group, give your child a 3- to 5-minute warning. Say things like, "We will be leaving in 5 minutes. It is almost time to say, 'Goodbye.' We will be cleaning up blocks in 2 minutes. After we clean up blocks, we will have a snack."

7. Decrease the demands on your child. Limit the restrictions you have on your child's activity. Anger and resistance are natural reactions to strict limitations on a child's movement or creativity.

Tips & Warnings

• Try distracting your child with a favorite game or activity.
• Set an egg timer and tell your child the activity will end or begin when it goes off.
• If tantrums occur in public, remove your child to an isolated area and let the tantrum pass. Trying to stop a tantrum with force or shame will only make it worse.
• Consult a professional family doctor if you experience extreme frustration or anger when disciplining your child.

on 12/22/2005 I was a trouble child, a temper tantrum wild and crazy child, a brat! I would cry and hit the floor and scream and fight, but when I look back, all I wanted was genuine attention. I would fight with my brother, I had so much frustration pent up. All I wanted to know was that I won the fight and that I was acknowledged. Desiring attention, that's all it was. Everyone says to leave the child alone, let them be and cry on their own by themselves. I say shower them with love and attention, show them they are the most important person in the world and they matter. That is all a child with a temper tantrum needs.

on 12/22/2005 I used to have terrible tantrums- kicking and screaming and yelling and crying. Just pay attention to the child. All I wanted was attention and affection. Show them that you really care and listen to what is wrong. Be honest and mean it, they will know.

on 11/22/2005 Through experience,I have a daughter who never threw a tantrum in her toddler years, and a son who is a just about a toddler, throws them every 10 minutes,My daughter is now 8 and my son is nearly 2-The only thing that makes my son stop his tantrum is when I pick him up and cradle him in my arms,either that or a very fast change of scenery, perhaps he is in the living room, take him to a different room,the visual difference changes his feelings, and therefore the tantrum stops,I also notice that my son throws tantrums before lunchtime and dinnertime, always keep a quick snack at hand,hungry children can be cranky children and if they cant tell you what they want or need (being hungry or thirsty)they will have no trouble letting you know their own way (temper tantrums)!One of my mistakes with my son, and believe me I know I am not the only one, was that when he threw his first tantrum, I simply thought,Oh it's just this one time, It will pass, I should ignore it,By the time I said this the 10th time, I was only fooling myself!!!! Please, when your young baby throws his first tantrum,dont think its a one time thing, and that it will never happen again, when you let it go the first time, and the second, it becomes second nature to them, and the baby will do it constantly since he or she knows that it's something they have done before,put a stop to it the first time, or at least detour it, Since my first baby never threw tantrums, I thought this terrible two's things happened to other babies and not to mine.WRONG. even if the first baby never threw tantrums, it does not mean the second or third one will not do them either,I was a bit surprised when my son started doing them on a daily basis,and I truly thought it was something that was going to happen once.Please learn from my mistake!

on 11/22/2005 Whenever my 2 year old has a tantrum, (kicking and screaming on the floor), I gently offer him a drink of water (or juice or whatever) works like a charm since he can't scream or kick while drinking. By the time he takes a couple of swallows, that tantrum is yesterday's news!

on 11/22/2005 Carry a bristle board sign that reads "TANTRUM IN PROGRESS" and throw it on the floor when your child throws a tantrum in public. People will point and laught at your child and the sheer embarassment that your child endures will prevent future tantrums.