How to Make Sure a Toddler Isn't Jealous of a New Baby

Divide your attention equally between children.

As children enter the toddler stage of development, they display egocentric behaviors resulting from the inability to see any perspective other than their own. During this time, toddlers demand a lot of attention and quickly throw fits when they don't get their way. Newborn babies threaten toddlers' ideas that the world revolves around only them. While parents see babies as welcome additions to the family, toddlers may perceive them as competition for parental love and attention. By combating your toddler's jealousy of a new baby, you nurture a healthy relationship between them.

Instructions

1. Withhold the news of your pregnancy from your toddler until after the first trimester or longer if possible. Avoid focusing too much attention on your unborn baby, sparing your toddler from excessive details about the doctor's appointments, nursery, baby names and celebrations. Use the time before the baby's arrival to devote attention to your toddler's world.

2. Encourage your toddler to share her feelings about the new baby. Listen to her and understand that negative feelings about the baby stem from a fear of change to her environment. Comfort your toddler by showing her extra love and affection. Look through your toddler's baby pictures and tell her stories about your pregnancy with her or the day she was born.

3. Start making any necessary changes to your toddler's routine before the baby arrives so he won't blame the baby for the disruptions. As your newborn sleeps periodically throughout the day, spend quality one-one-one time with your toddler. Use the time to read books, work on crafts, play outside or snuggle on the couch. Prevent your toddler from feeling alienated by including him in the care of your newborn.

4. Divide baby responsibilities with your spouse so that you both have free time to devote to your toddler. Take turns visiting the park, zoo or library with your toddler to make her feel special. Recruit friends and family members to take her on these fun day trips when you and your spouse need to catch up on sleep or devote more time to the baby.

Tips & Warnings

• Teach your toddler to handle the new baby gently.

• Never compare your toddler with the new baby.

References

• Raise-Smart-Kid: Social and Emotional Development
• Kids Health: Preparing Your Child for a New Sibling
• Dr. Ben Kim: How To Prevent Your Toddler From Being Jealous Of A New Sibling