How to Interpret a Toddler's Nonverbal Behavior

Toddlers often use crying as a form of communication.

If your toddler is unable to string words together in a meaningful way, you can determine his thoughts, feelings, needs and desires by interpreting his nonverbal behavior. In the course of a day, your toddler’s behavior likely wavers between charming and maddening. Respond patiently to his erratic -- and sometimes complex -- behavior and demonstrate a willingness to “hear” what your child is trying to tell you. Remember, your toddler is probably frustrated by his inability to express himself with words and his nonverbal behavior represents his best attempt to communicate with the people around him.

Instructions

1. Guess what your child’s gestures mean, and translate his actions into words. When he drags his sweater to the front door and rattles the doorknob, ask him, “Do you want to go to the train station to wait for Daddy?” Look for signs of confirmation, such as a smile or nodding of the head.

2. Sympathize with your toddler, even when his behavior is unpleasant. Remember, your young child experiences the world very differently than you do. Try to see the world through your son’s eyes, and attempt to interpret his surroundings as he probably does.

3. Understand what your child must be feeling when he encounters a new situation or finds himself in an unfamiliar environment. The key to interpreting your child’s behavior lies in understanding what he is thinking, feeling and experiencing. If your child behaves in an extreme -- even embarrassing -- manner, be sensitive, and examine what events or circumstances triggered his response.

4. Question your child about his behavior, and pay attention to changes in his facial expression, posture and willingness to make eye contact as he processes and responds to your questions. If he clings to you at the park, ask your son, “Are you afraid of the big boys on the slide?” and note if he squeezes your leg more tightly or buries his head in your lap. You can learn a great deal about what your child is thinking by remaining attentive to your child’s body language and recognizing patterns.

5. Examine your own nonverbal interactions with people, and recognize when your child’s behaviors mimic your own. Realize you are a primary role model in your toddler’s life, and he is apt to follow your lead when it comes to nonverbal expressions of joy, sadness, anger and frustration.

Tips & Warnings

• Be prepared to discipline your toddler if his nonverbal behavior requires it. Be firm with him when necessary to curb inappropriate behavior.

References

• How Kids Develop: Your Toddler
• Penn State: Get Kids Talking
• Body Language Expert: The Language of Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers