How to Deal With a Trucker Husband on the Road

Truckers and their wives must establish their own norms.

With husbands so often away from home, trucker wives will occasionally suffer from feelings of a lack of support, attention and appreciation. In addition to missing their husbands, the inability to share a traditional daily routine, divide chores and divvy parenting tasks can leave trucker wives feeling burdened by the extra duties they have in their husband’s absence. In coping with their unique realities, truckers and their wives must keep lines of communication open and lean on the strength of the bond that drew them together in the first place.

Instructions

1. Anticipate potential problems you may encounter during your husband’s absence and address them as early as possible before his departure.

2. Develop and stick with a routine that makes expectations clear and suits both of your needs in his absence. Address matters such as talking on the phone daily and establish customs for his departures and returns that will render each transition more bearable.

3. Pinpoint the sources of any negative feelings that arouse in your husband’s absence. Are you jealous that he’s able to travel and see new places? Are you angry about maintaining the household on your own for extended periods?

4. Address any resentment you feel. Remind yourself why your husband is away -- to contribute to supporting your household, not to be selfish, negligent or cruel. Write yourself a letter, incorporating this rationale, to revisit whenever you feel resentful feelings arising.

5. Communicate your needs gently, when your rationale is not enough. Let him know that you understand the demands of his career and appreciate the support he provides for the family -- but also let him know if there is something you would like him to do to help you better cope with his absences. Ask if there‘s anything he needs from you as well.

6. Trust your husband. Between so much time spent on the road and such a demanding schedule, just one missed call can flare up your suspicions over the possibility that he could be cheating. Remind yourself of the strength of your bond and that he’s never given you any reason not to trust him. If the nature of your communications changes suddenly and you sense a change in your husband or his interest in you, do not issue baseless accusations. Instead, talk to him with the aim of understanding what might have changed between you.

7. Nurture hobbies and outside interests to give yourself something to look forward to on a regular basis and to ensure you’re spending time around others.

8. Develop and maintain friendships with other women and families who understand what you’re going through and can lend you a hand or sense of familial closeness when you need it. Get to know other truckers’ wives so that you can provide mutual support for one another during times of need.

9. Make the most of the time you and your husband have together by showering him with your love when he’s home. The time he spends away should make it much harder for you to take one another for granted.

References

• Life as a Trucker: Truckers Wives
• ABC News: Frequent Travel Takes Toll on Spouses
• Life as a Trucker: I Don't Trust My Over the Road Husband, Could He Be Cheating?