How to Maintain a Long Distance Father-Daughter Relationship After Divorce

The father-daughter relationship is an important one to maintain, even across the miles.

The special bond between a daughter and father can be tested when divorce and distance interfere with the relationship. A new job, a family illness or any number of other reasons can force the relocation of one or the other parent. During this often trying time, a father must work hard to maintain his relationship with his daughter, even when it seems at times that circumstances are conspiring against him.

Instructions

1. Specify in a custody order the exact details of your physical and phone visitation rights. Include, for instance, what days and what time of day your daughter should be available to receive your phone calls or be allowed to call you. Of course, assure your daughter that she's welcome to call or visit whenever she feels like it, but the court order should specify the minimum amount of visitation that the mother must provide.

2. Work with your daughter's mother. Especially when younger children are involved, the mom can make physical and phone visitations easy or hard to maintain. Remain calm, even when you feel you are being antagonized.

3. Enforce your custody order through the court system if your ex-wife does not cooperate and make your daughter available or if she is consistently late for phone calls or visitation times. Record the date, time, and details of any violations and, again, remain calm when dealing with the mother.

4. Be consistent. Call at the appointed phone visitation times and visit when you are supposed to. Unless there is a true emergency, do not cancel or be late for phone calls or visitation times.

5. Use Skype to contact your daughter. Being able to see one another while talking adds a personal touch to the communication.

6. Remember birthdays and holidays. Call, send cards and presents, text or email on every special occasion -- and even once in a while when there is no special occasion.

7. Listen to your daughter. Be present and not distracted by business or other things, like television, when your child is with you. Ask about school, activities, hobbies and other important aspects of your daughter's life.

8. Avoid interrogating your daughter about her mother's life or engaging in any other conversations that might make her uncomfortable. That does not mean you should not discipline or parent your children. It just means you should not put your daughter between you and your ex-wife.

9. Tell your daughter often that you love her and are proud of her. Share your emotions and allow her to express hers as well.

References

• Open Talk Magazine: How to Keep a Strong Father-Daughter Long Distance Relationship
• Dr. Swerdlow-Freed: Supporting Father-Child Relationships
• Bannock County: Long Distance Parenting
• LawFirms.com: Special Issues With Child Custody
• Wells Jaworski Liebman: Custody, Visitation and Out-of-State Moves
• Kids' Development: A Child's Relationship With Their Father
• Divorce Help for Parents: Long Distance Parenting