A Polite Way to Give a Formal Dress Code for a Wedding

Formal invitations represent a formal wedding.

Wedding etiquette, as discussed by Emily Post and others, states that guests should be able to surmise quite a bit of information from the invitation. Everything from whether children are invited to the dress code should be evident in its style and wording. Unfortunately, not all guests realize that a formal invitation signifies the need for formal attire. If your wedding venue has a formal dress code, convey that to your guests in the invitation. There are a few ways you can insist on formal attire, without being impolite.

Instructions

1. Send a formal invitation. The more elegant the invitation, the more formal the dress code is assumed to be. Some people are aware of this etiquette detail and will attend in formal attire. But those who are not familiar with the use of an invitation's appearance to indicate dress code will need more explicit guidance.

2. Add a small note about the dress code on the invitation, in the bottom-right corner. The best wording is to simply state: “Black Tie” or “Formal Attire Requested.” This adds an extra reminder for guests and is easily referenced later, since it is stated on the invitation.

3. Inform the bridal party and family members of the dress code, and ask them to spread the word. Ask friends and family to let guests know that the dress code is not merely a suggestion but a requirement, to ensure guests will be dressed appropriately.

Tips & Warnings

• If you prefer, you can include the formal dress code information on the reception card.

• Despite your best efforts, some people may still show up in casual attire. If the wedding venue won’t normally let people in without formal wear, you may need to inform them that you are allowing exceptions. Otherwise, be prepared for the fallout from turning away guests.

References

• Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette; Peggy Post
• Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding; Jacobina Martin et al
• The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner: Worksheets, Checklists, Etiquette, Calendars, and Answers to Frequently Asked Questions; Carley Roney
• The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: From invites to thank you notes - All you need to handle even the stickiest situations with ease (Everything Series); Holly Lefevre