How to Gently Start Asserting Yourself With Your Significant Other

Sometimes learning to assert yourself improves your relationship.

Allowing your significant other to always make the decisions where you eat, where you travel and what you buy is a prime example of a lack of assertiveness on your part. Maybe you started doing this because you could never agree on a restaurant in between “I don’t want Chinese” and “I’m not in the mood for Mexican” debates and finally gave in to your spouse and have since let her make all the decisions. Many people don’t even realize they don’t assert themselves properly in their relationships. When you realize you’ve left your assertiveness at the door and want to regain your decision-making abilities and have your voice heard again you can do so by gently asserting yourself to your significant other.

Instructions

1. Stop giving your spouse the control. Stop giving him the power to make every decision. Start small by telling him you would rather go to the restaurant of your choice than the one of his choice next time you go to dinner. You may be pleasantly surprised if he agrees or you may need to assert yourself a little more by standing up for your choice.

2. Explain to your significant other that you feel you are being taken advantage of and have allowed it to happen for far too long. Attempt to compromise and always stand up for yourself when you feel strongly about a decision that is being made.

3. Refrain from becoming submissive to your partner should she attempt to ignore your assertiveness and continue to do things her way. Stand your ground and tell her no without engaging in an argument or conflict.

Tips & Warnings

• Recognize that asserting yourself will not always work in every relationship. Only a healthy relationship with mutual respect will survive one partner trying to change the boundaries of the relationship.

References

• Mentalhelp.net: Setting Boundaries Appropriately – Assertiveness Training