How to Build a Better Relationship With Your Teenagers

Give your teenager your time and attention; she needs you.

It hurts to see your baby pulling away from you. Perhaps you picture him as this tiny infant in your arms, but now he's taller than you. Your baby is now a teenager exerting his independence. Unfortunately, this is part of the growing process, but it does not mean the end of your closeness. You can build a better relationship with your teenager if you make the effort.

Instructions

1. Understand your teenager. Try to remember what it was like for you as a teenager and put yourself in your teen's shoes. When you truly understand, you can have a better relationship. For instance, if he spends all his time in his room, remember yourself as a teenager. Chances are you needed space from your parents and you were not trying to hurt them. Don't get angry at your child for spending time in his room. It will hurt your relationship. You can also educate yourself further. Find books about teenagers in your local library or book store. You may learn many useful methods to deal with teenagers.

2. Spend time with your teenager. You may be busy with work, but make the time for your child. Try to eat as many meals as you can together. This gives you a chance to talk about your child's day. You can also watch a TV show together at night. You will learn what shows are influencing your child and you can ask her why she likes or dislikes certain characters. Thus, you will learn more about your child.

3. Show your teenager you believe in him. Give him confidence. Tell him how smart he is or how proud you are of his kindness to others. Don't assume he knows you feel this way. You may forget to mention the good things because you are constantly berating him over something, such as not cleaning his room. If he only hears complaints, he will not want to be in your company and your relationship will suffer.

4. Give your teenager rules. Children balk at rules, but it's your job to provide a stable, safe environment, so make sure you have a curfew. Expect your child to talk to you with respect. Give him chores and tell him he must do his homework. Your child may complain, but he will respect you for being a parent, rather than someone who lets him do whatever he wants.

5. Give your teenager privacy. Don't barge into her room unannounced. Knock on her door and never go through her cell phone or read her emails. Your teen will resent you if you take away her privacy. Show her you trust her until she gives you a reason not to.

References

• Dr. Phil: Develop a Healthy Relationship with Your Teen/Parent
• Kids Health: A Parent's Guide to Surviving the Teen Years
• Psychology Today: Understanding is More Important Than Love